I said it, and I couldn’t take it back.
In the heat of the moment (on a demanding, dreary day and on much too little sleep) I had let my guard down and the anger in my heart slipped out through words that I would immediately regret. The recipient of those harsh words? My amazing ten year old, who through no fault of his own just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
My impatient words cut straight to his heart, evidenced by the way his entire body shut down right before my eyes. A boy who had been eager to share about his day walked away with his head down; his spirit broken. And everything in me wished I could turn back time and start over.
I’d slow down.
I’d change my tone.
Soften my demeanor.
Select each word more carefully.
Intentionally look for ways to build up instead of tear down.
I’d exchange harsh words for gentle ones.
I’d talk less.
I’d listen more.
If I had the chance to do it all over again, I’d use the words I want my boy to repeat. In my speech, I’d represent the Jesus this world so desperately needs to hear.
There’s a reason why over 100 verses in the book of Proverbs address wisdom in our speech. We’re a mess in a thousand ways when it comes to our words, and unlike a lot of things in life, there are no “do-overs” when it comes to the thoughts that come spewing out of our mouths. Once our words are out (orally, written, or published with a touch of the finger), they’re out. And while nothing is beyond God’s powerful redemption, the power of words can often wound for a lifetime.
But wisdom.
God knows our tendencies to talk too much, to weigh our words too little, to speak before thinking, and to compromise truth and grace when we communicate with others. It will surely take God’s transforming power, applying wisdom from His Word, and a whole lot of intentionality on our parts to break these sinful habits. It won’t be easy, but it’s never too late to start honoring God in our speech.
Here’s where I’m starting this week…
Garbage In = Garbage Out
In this highly accessible, harsh world that we live in (where technology reigns, shock-value is celebrated, and free speech has taken on a whole new meaning), it’s easy to become desensitized to the speech we allow to influence our hearts and homes. When we miss time in the Word but wouldn’t dare miss interacting with our favorite (and sometimes questionable) media outlet, and when we constantly fill our minds with anxious and angry thoughts instead of what is excellent and praiseworthy, we shouldn’t be surprised when the result of our speech is less than admirable. Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly. Think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, and lovely. Fill up with goodness and be glad in God, so that goodness can’t help but overflow out of you and onto others.
“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” – Proverbs 12:25
Be Soft in a Hard World
Every family, workplace, and church has their own resident cynic – the one you can count on to bring dissension, strife, and negativity with her words to most any situation. Maybe this has been you. As hard as it is to admit, I can think of times when it’s been me. If we’re not careful, we can let sin and the weight of the world harden our hearts to the point of destruction, resulting in words coming out of our mouths that are out of alignment with our profession of faith. But soft hearts that submit to God’s wisdom can produce soft words, and soft words can change the atmosphere for good. Soft words seek to heal instead of destroy. Soft words stop gossip in its tracks and instead build people up. Soft words bring hope and speak truth. Be wise, be careful… be soft in a hard world.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1
Start With You
You may have been deeply wounded by someone’s words in the past, but contrary to the popular saying, wounded people don’t have to wound people. Jesus is in the business of transforming lives, and forgiveness and new beginnings are possible in His name. Today, we can start again. Today, we don’t have to wait for the other person to change. Today, the cycle can stop with us. We can extend forgiveness, and humbly ask for it. As much as it depends on us, we can strive to live at peace with all men. We can be life-givers with our words… one thought, one comment, one conversation at a time.
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness [contrary to what is right or good] in it breaks the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4
Let’s talk: Where do you struggle with wisdom in your speech? What is one step YOU can take TODAY to walk in wisdom in this area?
At His feet,
Week 2 Challenge: Every day this week, plan one intentional way that you will use your words to change the atmosphere for good. Ideas: place an encouraging note in your child’s lunchbox or on your co-worker’s desk, send an uplifting Bible verse in a text message, respond to a harsh word with gentleness, bring a word of hope to a difficult conversation…
Week 2 Video:
Can’t see this video? You can view it here.
Week 2 Reading Plan:
Week 2 Memory Verse:
Just now joining us for our Walking in Wisdom study? No problem! Grab a journal on Amazon and jump right in, reading and writing what God speaks to your heart along the way…
I am loving this study. I need to be careful with my words.
could you kindly e-mail the blog to my new e-mail address: [email protected].
Thanks very much.
Hello dear Wendy. We bless God you enjoy our study. Since you have a new email address. Just resubscribe using the new email so that you can get out mails. Open our website scroll half way and you’ll see where to subsribe for our mails. Much love honey.
This is one that I will have to keep in my purse and carry around with me every day to remind me of my place in christ. I am definitely guilty of being cynic because I am the judge of people, places, and things to find fault in and then act out with strife. When I should hold on to GOD wisdom, and once I act out then I feel guilty for what I have done because I know what is excepted of me along with me knowing that is not GOD way. I have to display to other’s the peace that I have found with GOD, and by applying his wisdom I can show people a better way through GOD commands and promises. I am asking for pray today for me, because like you said Wendy it starts with me. Pray that I stand on GOD’s wisdom and not allow cynic and strife to keep me from my place in GOD’s word.
Sweetness, let’s pray. Heavenly Father, I bring Your daughter before You. She has asked for Your wisdom, You said if we ask for wisdom You will give freely and not withhold. Please grant Your daughter the grace to always stand on Your wisdom. Help her to drive out strife with Your word. Help her to Be the kind of woman You have created her to be. Let her be guided by Your love and peace. In Jesus name Amen.
Sorry! I meant to say, Whitney. Thank you for your guidance in today’s message it really hit home for me.
Oh no! I just realized that I’m the one at the office that is negative!! Jesus, help me to be the encourager today. Change what comes out of my mouth. I want to build others up!
Amen love. God is helping you and indeed all of us to build up others. It is well. God forth and shine. Much love honey.
I come into contact with difficult people daily. Often I am kind to their faces but not behind their backs…that sounds awful I know! But it can affect how other people go about their day and I need to have. A better attitude in general.
Dear Lacey, because of what you’ve heard and read today God is changing your heart and ours to be the kind of women He wants us to be. It is well dear. Amen.
I struggle with my speech sometimes when it comes to dealing with my grandsons. They are really great nephews but they call me grandma. They are living with us due to their mom having dependency issues. I love them but she really messed them up. They are 6 and 7 and have no respect or remorse. The older one is very sneaky and after dealing with his attitude there is only so much I can take. I snap and regret it so much. I realize I could have said it differently. I pray every day that I can change this. I really need this week to learn and practice wisdom in my speech.
Dear Father, Your daughter needs Your help. And You said You are our ever present help in time of need. So please help her to be graceful. In Jesus name Amen. Much love honey
Praying for you, Vicki. We are going to mess up — we are human! But, we can let our loved ones know that we don’t want to be that person, and that we are going to try to do better today with Jesus’ help. — There is a verse in Ephesians 4 that says we should “speak the truth in love.” I always try to breathe a prayer that God will help me to do that in difficult situations and difficult people. May God show you the way with these young men who are testing the waters. Hugs
I have come under conviction of the Holy Spirit to thank those who teach us God’s Word weekly through their gifting to preach and teach us from the pulpit…actually a table and stool ?. I need to let them know that they were prayed for as they stepped up to speak to us three times on a Sunday since we have three services at our church. I’m sure that there have been days that each one of our pastors have gone before us with heartaches of their own but put them away just to be a blessing to us! Also, as the Lord brings people to my heart, I will be sending encouraging messages to those who may be the “forgotten” in ministry like the church admin who does so much work that many couldn’t keep up with their days’ work or the janitor who keeps our building pristine and looking sharp to welcome the faith family and visitors alike. There are a whole host of people who put their hearts and souls into serving us on any given Sunday and during the week. I’m going to let as many as I can think of know how special they are to God, to the whole of the faith family, and to me! I praise God for them! ?❤
Beautiful, Pat. I love how you purpose to encourage with your words and prayers. Thanks for sharing that.
Thanking those who are rarely thought of is a GREAT thing to do and it means so very much to them! Keep up the good work and the God work!
Amen!! Good words Whitney. I’m always praying help me Lord be more like Jesus, I want less of me and more of Him. The more we stay close to Him and His Word the more we talk and act like Him. The world needs Jesus now more than ever! Joyfully His, Carol
Yes darling, our world needs more of Jesus now more than ever. Graceful words darling. God bless you.
My words get the best of me on a daily basis. Being a SAHM of three young kids (4, 2 & 1) and being pregnant with our fourth I seem to lose my temper often. I love this study and todays blog hit home. I am taking this weeks challenge to soften my heart and let God’s words flow through me to my kiddos, husband and friends. God bless you all and thank you.
Jenn, being a mom is not for cowards! Praying for you today. May God give you the grace to raise up your littles with wisdom. Hugs
Jenn, I so admire SAHMs and having what I call stair steps has to be difficult on the best of days. Praying for you as you accept this challenge and let God’s words to flow through you to everyone who you come into contact with.
Oh boy! Talk about being convicted by the Spirit! I need the Spirit:
“A whole lot of intentionality on our parts to break these sinful habits.” This Is certainly called for on my part. I’ve been battling the verse that tells us the sins visit upon the children to the third and fourth generation. I’ve seen so much hurt expressed verbally through my lifetime that I hope the sins did not pass from my husband and I to our now adult children. But I take courage and have hope in the fact that my Savior has rescued me from them all and his strength and power are more than capable of keeping me on the straight path of intentionally eradicating one sin at a time.
So far in the last few weeks I have been ridding myself of TV and from being absorbed by social media to engaging in conversations with my family each night, taking part in games with the grandkids, and in general being more present with those I love. It has brought much joy to my soul to see how much the intentional choices have improved our communicating.
May I always open my mouth with wisdom, and be kind and able to share the joy I have in Christ
Thank you for today’s blog! As I get older I often find my “filter” just lets things out audibly. Not necessarily a good thing! As we ladies get older we often brush it off as “I’m old- I can say what I want”. Not true. This was a powerful reminder of how we can’t take back words once they slip out or done intentionally. Thank you
I loved today’s blog and the video by Whitney. Unfortunately anger and I are friends…I am trying so hard to work on this. But when I am being yelled at, words just come flying out of my mouth! I litrally don’t know where they come from. So I am trying so so so hard to take a breath and think before I speak.
Praying for you Shannon!
I struggle with this so much!! What screams out at me is having a soft heart. I used to be this way but years and years of hurt, betrayal, and having to fight for myself has caused my heart to become guarded and I find myself with negative thoughts quite often. I have prayed for change in this area. I don’t know what it looks like to take pause when someone if yelling or fussing, or to speak kindly when someone is speaking unkind to me. I have bee afraid I would lose my independence and control over situations. I need/want to change this and have a soft, kind heart and speak soft, kind words to the people around me. I’m excited to learn and grow this week! Thank you!!
I struggle with this so much!! What screams out at me is having a soft heart. I used to be this way but years and years of hurt, betrayal, and having to fight for myself has caused my heart to become guarded and I find myself with negative thoughts quite often. I have prayed for change in this area. I don’t know what it looks like to take pause when someone if yelling or fussing, or to speak kindly when someone is speaking unkind to me. I have bee afraid I would lose my independence and control over situations. I need/want to change this and have a soft, kind heart and speak soft, kind words to the people around me. I’m excited to learn and grow this week! Thank you!!