Every day, we are given the opportunity to exercise self-control. Choosing to not yell at the driver who cut you off on the road. Not eating that extra portion of a meal. Choosing to hold your tongue when you could defend yourself. Self-control, I believe, is one of the least talked about fruit of the Spirit.
We live in a world that believes that you can do whatever you want to do. You make the rules. If it impedes your happiness or comfort, you don’t have to worry about it. While these ideals feed our flesh and sinful nature, Scripture calls believers to something higher. It calls us to lay down our wants and preferences for the sake of making Christ known and serving others.
Though self-control may not be the most enticing characteristic to live out, it is a part of our worship and faithfulness to God.
When we look at Scripture, we see a beautiful example of self-control in the life of Daniel. When the Babylonians invaded and conquered the land of Judah, they took some of the brightest and most promising Israelites and attempted to strip them of their identity, culture, and way of life in order to fully become Babylonian. Daniel was one of these individuals.
He along with his friends Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (also known as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) participated in the Babylonian schooling, but they chose to live differently. When the Israelites males were presented with the king’s food, much of which went against the food that was acceptable for the Jews, these men chose to abstain in order to remain faithful to God.
It would have been easy for them to go along with everyone else and keep the peace. But Scripture tells us that they “made up their minds” (Daniel 1:8) to not defile themselves through this food. They exercised incredible self-control.
Daniel’s self-control started in his heart because he knew God and trusted in His ways over the ways of the world.
Self-control is not something we fall into or do naturally. Our flesh leads us to do anything but exercise self-control. This is why we have to be completely rooted in our identity and relationship with Christ. We are to live with a heart surrendered to God. When we know who we are and whose we are, we are enabled, through the work of the Holy Spirit, to say no to temptation and yes to God’s ways.
This does not mean that it is always easy. There will be times where it is very clear that we are to say no to sin or temptation. And there are other times when our flesh will be at war. This is why we have to remain reliant upon the Spirit’s work in our hearts. We must remain in constant prayer and allowing other believers to walk alongside us.
Living in the world and having self-control is hard. But Jesus didn’t leave us to do life on our own. He gave us His very Spirit and the church to be the ones to encourage us to faithfully keep going.
In addition to having community around us, it is important to establish our theology, our view of God, now. We don’t want to wait until we’re in the middle of a tough situation to figure out what we believe God’s Word says about how to respond. We are to abide in Jesus daily, establishing disciplines and patterns now that will guide in all situations.
Where are you today? Are you in a situation or a continuous pattern of lacking self-control? Turn to Christ in prayer. Ask others to hold you accountable and come up with ways to start having self-control. Commit to memorizing Scripture about self-control so that you can recall the words of Truth when you need it. Are you one who exercises self-control but do it just because you’re supposed to? Ask God to show you more of his character and the truth of the gospel. Living out of the love of Christ and having self-control as a means of worship is so much more freeing than doing it out of obligation.
Wherever you may be today, know that you are not alone. Self-control is not the characteristic that we see often, but it is what marks believers. We have God’s Word, God’s Spirit, and God’s people to help us each day so that we can live in full surrender and obedience to Christ.
