Trust in the LORD.
…with all your heart, in all your ways…
There was a time last year when our family went through the furnace. We live next to the war in Ukraine, and my husband has been deeply involved in humanitarian aid efforts. With that reality have come questions like, “Can I go visit the warehouse in Rivne? Can I go to meet a pastor in Lviv?” These cities are situated in the West of Ukraine, near the Polish border, far from the front lines of the war.
Yet, the truth remains, the entire country of Ukraine is under attack. My faith was tested. Would I trust my own understanding of what it meant to keep my husband safe? Would I discourage, dissuade, or forbid him from taking humanitarian aid to those in need because I was afraid? Or, would I trust that God has numbered our days, and God alone could keep him safe?
Not long after my husband took a break from transporting humanitarian aid, he suffered a stroke. This was a complete surprise to our family, as he is relatively young and healthy.
This was another great test of my faith. Would I live in fear that a repeat stroke would lead to death and leave me a single mom to five children? Would I worry every day about what the future holds? Ultimately, would I trust God with all my heart?
It is natural to want to protect our loved ones. And I believe it is our God-given role to use wisdom in the way we live. We should not willingly put ourselves in harm’s way. However, there are times in life when human wisdom doesn’t suffice, when there is more at stake and only God’s wisdom is enough. This was the case for us with both the war in Ukraine and in my heart with my husband’s stroke.
In the end, we decided that yes, he can go to Western Ukraine, as long as there is no imminent attack or danger, the trips are brief, and not more than three hours from the Polish border. In the deepest parts of my heart, I had to acknowledge that God alone gave us life and knows the number of our days. I could trust him with my husband’s life and not live in fear every day that he would die.
Yes, my husband could die of a missile strike or another stroke. The truth is, he could also be hit by a car or any other unforeseen event. God is sovereign, and He is worthy of my trust. Because I have grown to know Him deeply over the years, I also know that I can trust Him. His character, His promises, His plans for my future are ALL trustworthy.
During the days when I would drive back and forth from the hospital, I would listen to these lyrics of the song Sovereign Over Us by Michael W. Smith on repeat.
Whatever battle you face, whether it’s handling conflict with a co-worker, friend, or loved one or whether to move a loved one to respite care – He is with you. Pray. Ask God for His wisdom in making decisions and make up your mind to trust Him with all your heart, not relying on your own understanding. God was with Daniel and his friends in the furnace, and God is with you in whatever fire you are in, too.
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This is powerful, thanks for sharing with us