Talk about tension, man.
For a girl who would prefer to end every discussion with a group hug and the phrase, “Hey, can’t we all just get along?,” this first week in Galatians is a good reminder that sometimes solutions to life’s heated disagreements aren’t quite that easy. Bummer.
God himself knows that I’ve avoided confrontation plenty of times in my life. Voices raise and tension builds and I get all fidgety and sweaty and start looking for a way out. You all can carry on while I go bake you a pie as an offering to help restore the peace. But this disagreement that Paul invites us into? It’s not one of those that we can just turn our heads and look away.
There’s only one gospel…
“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ.”
I just pulled my teenage boys aside this week to talk about potentially the greatest threat that they’ll fight against in their lifetime:
The world’s denial of absolute truth.
Allowing room for all of mankind to find their own way, on a path that seems appropriate to them. A “you do what’s right for you, and I’ll do what’s right for me” mentality, so as to not offend anyone – on any topic – ever.
Pursuing “what’s right in our own eyes” might actually work on things like hair color, career choices, and a tired mom’s amended version of Monopoly rules, but it certainly doesn’t work when it comes to the gospel.
Paul reminds us that there is but one gospel: the gospel of grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone (Ephesians 2:8-9). Adding or subtracting to this absolute truth is to deny God of the glory he is due and is pure destruction to anyone who thinks that salvation is dependent on man’s striving (Galatians 1:9).
Christian, you can’t walk away from this one, no matter how uncomfortable things get. It’s not Jesus plus something else. It’s Christ alone…
There’s one ultimate authority…
“Am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still pleasing men, I should not be a servant of Christ.”
These big boys of mine still let me tuck them in at night, and I’ve already promised myself that I’ll hang on to that little ritual for as long as they’ll let me. My best teenage tip? Offer to scratch their backs while tucking them in, and it’s almost guaranteed they’ll tell you all kinds of stuff that you’ve been dying to know.
It happened one day at the middle school lunch table – the moment during a God-discussion when my boy knew he should have spoken up for what he believed in… but he was scared and he didn’t. As he shared with me what went down that day, I recognized the familiar tension that I too had experienced many times before: on one hand, there would be relief and a strong sense of satisfaction for being obedient in standing up for his faith. Oh, how our hearts want to speak your name, Jesus! On the other hand, he couldn’t ignore that rotten feeling that comes when you realize you just might alienate yourself from the entire “lunch table” at the close of one bold, uncompromising sentence. Ugh.
I’m a recovering people pleaser.
There, I said it. Anyone else care to raise their hands high?
We want to connect and engage and to find commonality among our peers. And when applied with intentionality and constraints, that’s actually not necessarily a bad thing.
But when pleasing man trumps pleasing God, we have a serious problem on our hands.
If you search in Scripture, Paul had times when he actually pursued pleasing people. In Corinthians he says, “Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved” (1 Corinthians 10:32–33).
But in today’s passage, he clearly runs from pleasing men in order to be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10). So which is it? Different circumstances call for different ways of doing things. But one thing is clear: In both cases, Paul lived in a way that pleased God by elevating the advance of the gospel.
Ultimately, you and I live for an audience of One. God is our ultimate authority, and the gospel is our primary message.
Will we speak the one and only gospel in an effort to magnify the One who died to save our souls? Or will we hold back absolute truth, cowering under the pressure of pleasing man over pleasing God?
There’s a lost world in need of the gospel – people that we will interact with even this very day. Jesus, give us opportunity and your strength to boldly proclaim that YOU are the only way…
At His feet,
*Let’s talk: What holds YOU back from declaring ONE gospel to those at your “lunch table?” Do you get hung up on people pleasing to the detriment of the gospel?
.
I will continue to please my Father from Heaven. He die for my sins, I can count on him at anytime . Thank you Lord for taking my sins away.Amen.
Nyrican,
What a wonderful declaration of faith! We will be praying for you as you stand strong for the Lord!
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
I thank you Lord for sending your son Jesus Christ, to cover my sins with his blood, that God has made me rightous though Jesus Christ. I pray that my word and actions are that of the Gospel.
Thank you Lord for guiding me, teaching me your Gospel.
Susan
As a sister in Christ I’m lifting your prayers up in agreeance!
Amen, Susan!
Too often I seek the approval of man. I’m guilty of this in so many ways. I want to share the truth with everyone I come into contact with and I pray that the Lord stirs this up in my so much that it just pours out on to all that I see. The only opinion that truly matters is my Father in Heavens and I want to live my life using my hands, my body, my feet, my mouth as a testament to His great love. I pray that God will let these changes and priorities come to pass in my life. I pray that He guides me and reminds me when I’m living a life for mans approval and not His. The scripture today is a major conviction for me and God knew I needed it. I want to live a life for Him and guide as many people as I can to the one true God and let His love be known!
Father, in Jesus’ name, strengthen Jountia and all of Your believers so that we know the presence of the Holy Spirit daily. Give us boldness to speak Your word. Forgive us for being people pleasers.
Cover us with Jesus’ blood so that we are assured of Your peace, and help us to rely on You, and not be concerned with what men think or what they might do.
I too have hated confrontation all my life. I have always tried ‘going with the flow instead of rocking the boat. ” But the Lord has given me true miracles in my life and now in this world of hate, and people telling me I need to put man’s law above God’s I need to arm myself with his word, and “confront them.” His words are true, and he is loving, and we are here but for a brief moment in time. I am a beloved child of God, Jesus is my heavenly brother, and I will follow him forever.
Recovering people pleaser as well!!
But learning more about my “audience of One” heads up my recovery plan. The more I learn about how Christ loves me, the more readily I can be myself and not compromise because it’s what everyone else is doing. I am getting older too and realizing whomever I compromise for won’t be standing with me when I give an account. So if anybody has to be pleased, it will be better Jesus than someone who will fade away just like me! Lol it’s funny because it makes sense now but in the moment I must MUST disentangle myself from fear to get to those rational conclusions that will give me strength and lead me away from people pleasing and help me to be brave for Christ, for the gospels sake. This will take lots of prayer.
Jasmine, I too am a “recovering people pleaser”! I love how you said that you’re realizing that whomever you are compromising for, won’t be with you when you give an account. I’ve never thought about it like that before! It’s so true, at the moment that I am trying to please a particular person or group of people, I am making them out to be so important…more important than Jesus! But when I stand face to face with my Savior, I won’t have anyone else to blame, but myself! I’m going to remember your saying next time I’m in a situation! ☺️
I so agree with you Mistie and Jasmine! It does take that realization and choice to stop what I’m doing, submit my fear to Jesus and just remember to Whom I belong. I was bought with the price of Christ’s precious blood and so who should I be trying to please? Only Christ! I can find myself faltering in the moment of people-pleasing and definitely prayer is key. But I have been starting to remind myself when I find I have fallen into this trap again, “Stop what you’re doing. Pray! What is God asking me to do at this moment?” He is always faithful to provide the grace and help I need, and even the boldness when I turn my focus back to Him and trust Him for my confidence.
I do get hung up on people pleasing. It can get in the way of my God time. It is one of the things I am working on right now and praying about.
Malaya,
I too seek to please people and/or compare myself to others. I believe with us sisters in Christ coming together to build each other up and being in God’s Word is the perfect remedy for that. I will be praying for you as well as myself. (Jennifer, LGG Encourager)
Malana sorry autocorrect got me again.
I too, yep people pleaser.. Oh I have my opinions but when it comes to issues like homosexuality, gay marriage, living together.. I’ve always just said ours is not to judge but to love… I feel these issues are all against Gods word.. I pray God will show me how to handle them,
Wow, is this lesson for me! I don’t have time to redo my makeup..again! .. God is so amazing, how He loves me, how patient, how steadfast and lovingly repetitive. He so wants me to get this. It’s His love alone, His acceptance alone that I need to long for. He will fill in all the other blanks. Yes, I’m a people pleaser! Recovering? Still trying to work through it! By God’s grace and the power of the Holy Spirit I can speak and share the gospel with my coworkers and strangers more than I ever dared dream, and I know God’s still working on that! But it’s a whole different story with my husband. I keep trying to “own” his feelings. Great thing about God though is that He’s using this man I’ve spent 35 years trying to “please and love well” to show me, no teach me, that I can’t “own” his or anyone’s feelings or problems. That’s not really loving them, that’s loving me more. Wow! Thank you Father for not getting so tired of me. Thank you for being the only true definition of “loving well”. Have Your way in me Lord. Amen!
Great Message, that is right on time for today’s living. People are fickle, one minute it’s Hallelujah and the next it’s Crucify Him! Many believers want to pick and choose what part of the gospel is comfortable for them. But being a disciple of Christ is not comfortable, it’s a constant struggle to fight against our sinful nature to be more like HIM. As believers we must not be afraid of not being accepted by society, we are a peculiar people that is to be set apart from the world. We must boldly speak absolute truth!
Amen, Tori
Amen indeed!
Wonderful Blog posting. Thanks for the reminder . . . it is all about the “Audience of One” 🙂
Thank you! So needed this reminder today and everyday. Praying daily for the strength to stand firm on the Word of God and speak His truth in love.
I think we will be called, more and more, to stand up for our belief in the Lord Jesus Christ. As society leans towards “acceptance” and “tolerance”, we will “stick out” in a crowd, no matter where we are. Even in our own families, we will have times that we need to stand alone. I find it a challenge to find the balance between love and acceptance and approval, especially when it comes to family members with alternative lifestyles. It is so hard to show love without giving the impression of approval. It takes wisdom from the Lord! Lord, give us the strength and the courage to stand up for You! And, give us wisdom to know what to say and do – and the attitude that shows love.
Amen, Karen. I said almost the exact same thing in our group yesterday!
This has been my struggle over the past 4 years with our daughter in a homosexual lifestyle. Showing love but not being able to rejoice with her in her choices. I’m not a people pleaser but lean more on the side of speaking truth sometimes without thinking before I speak. Her recent engagement has caused a breach between us and some angry words from her. Hurting heart. This time I’m praying and waiting on God for His words when and if I respond. We must be able to stand for truth even if it means we lose those we love.
Just as the Galatian Christians thought laws and regulations were the way to salvation, Paul quickly reminds them that faith alone is the only way. I feel called to speak on this because I myself am a homosexual. Three years ago, God was the farthest thing from my heart. Through a radical and spiritual whirlwind over the last few years, I have found an extremely humbling faith that guides me every single day. I have found an open and accepting church and furthermore, I have found a love from and for God that I never knew existed. I know that acceptance and tolerance are more than just that. I can only imagine that this is literally pulling at your heart strings and that it might even feel broken. I wholeheartedly believe that God is calling us to open our hearts, minds and faith to everyone willing to explore God’s love. If we begin treating churches like hospitals and a place for healing, rather than a place of judgement, maybe our “lifestyles” wouldn’t be so different after all. I pray that God will give guidance to you and your family. I pray for your strength and I pray that God reveals His light to us all in due time! Amen.
Thanks Anna. I am praying also for you.
This verse is for me! I too will find myself being quiet when I should speak! I will cringe within myself speaking to God to give me the words I need. To speak through me! I hear people speak that just seem to have the right words and the right vocabulary to get their point across! Even when I read the comments on here and people express in words what I want to say but can’t find those words. As I am getting older I am improving! One thing I find is that God will give me a sentence or two that will be strong and then learn when it’s time to leave on that note! I feel I am planting that seed! It’s always easier when someone will chime in with you and two is better than one! Thank you for this study! I have purchased the new book for the study and I’m loving it. I would like to see it spiral bound next time so I can wright on the pages better! I thank God every day for what you do! Now if only I can find that courage to do it myself instead of being envious of others with that gift! God Bless each one of you!
Sometimes it gets hard to me to express what I really think with academic partners Maybe because people has told us that religion is never good topic to talk about in these cases, at least not when you are a believer and not only and observant or a critical. Sometimes I’m afraid that if I express straightly what I really believe within a group, I will loose the oportunity to talk face to face with one of them who needs it. So I need to pray God for wisdom to raise His name boldly just as Paul did it.
WOW!! I read all the comments and the only word I can come up with is WOW. I tried daily when I was working since I spent most of my hours at work not to please man. I tried to express God’s word but like the rest the words would not come out. Instead I would have verses on my door and in my office to remind me of God’s love and truthfulness and this helps me with my co-workers. I believe this Bible study will help and I thank God and you all for this opportunity to participate.
I agree with others that often find it difficult to speak out the feelings and beliefs held in highest significance in their hearts. I openly speak of God’s grace and mercy with those of like minds.. I offer prayers for those who are in need or suffering, but when it comes to vocalizing openly with those who hold their Faith “close to the vest”, I fall short. Weekly and especially on holidays our local church provides “invitations” for us to bring someone to our church for the first time. I suddenly become shy..I have taken the invitations and put them out at my office, but haven’t found it comfortable to often individually welcome someone to visit. I hope that this study will help me to find my “confidence” in sharing the right words when I would normally stay quiet.
Whitney, I love your thoughts on this portion of our Galatians. “Ultimately, you and I live for an audience of One. God is our ultimate authority, and the gospel is our primary message.” Our message is “…the gospel of grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone.” This is on point! I need to write this down in my journal, quick!
I am a “recovering people pleaser” too! So happy to be in this study and learning the Gospel of the Lord. I have spent a lifetime trying to please someone that has been a true challenge in my life. I have now broken away from that person and her poison. I am learning, studying and praying.
I am the peace keeper, or so I try to be in our family. This study has already been encouraging to me. I have some personal situations that have left me feeling very confused. Quick overview is I took care of my niece and nephew for 20 months begged thier mom to stay involved in their lives did many things to get her to visit and call. After being ordered to pay child support she went to the courts and got the kids back. The system failed the kids they do not have a realtionship with their mom and are now scared and confused. Due to her insecurities she has stopped all contact and will not allow any contact with me (fyi niece was 18month and nephew was 3.5 yrs currently they are now 3 yrs and 6 yrs). I struggle with telling the truth and pointing out the right way how God helps us. I continue to try and be God’s light it takes courage and determination. I have learned no matter how hard you try and even if you do everything right you will never please everyone. You can only pray and try to show them to Christ so He can work in their lives. Thanks
Susan,
Life is so hard sometimes. I am so sorry to hear about this painful situation in your family. (I’ve got family dysfunction, too! So, your comment really grabbed my heart!) Please know that I prayed for your family this morning.
I agree 100% with what you said about prayer. Prayer is where we fight for our families. We surrender our loved ones to the Lord and ask Him to do a work in their lives. And we try to love with His help in whatever way we can.
God is working in ways that we cannot see right now as we pray. Let’s keep our eyes on Him and wait with expectation. Nothing is impossible for God, and He can turn any situation around.
Blessings,
Lyli (LGG Encourager)
Oh my gracious!!! What a verse today…”do I try to fit in with man rather than serve God”. I love Paul–he’s like a smooth Peter!! I looked at this verse and immediately this popped into my head. The mantra in our world today is “don’t judge”…”it’s not our job to judge”. Paul however, judged harshly here…and accused harshly…and even said that the false teachers were condemned to hell if they kept on teaching that nonsense and didn’t repent. When someone is into false teaching, we HAVE to be a servant of Christ to be able to discern truth vs lies…if we are discerning God’s truth vs man’s lies…AND SAY SO…we cannot leave those in false doctrine to their own demise…that is what we are commanded to do. If not…we become as the Judaizers.
Tara,
You make an interesting point. I believe God’s Word says that judgment should begin in the house of God — the issue here was that people were “in the church” and saying what was wrong. Peter was a leader, and his actions were visible to everyone. Paul didn’t tread gently because he needed to set Peter straight before others were lead astray by his “fence straddling” decision to side with the Judaizers. We can’t compromise the Gospel because Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Paul stepped in to resolve a conflict, to defend the Gospel, and to protect those new baby Christians.
Blessings,
Lyli (LGG Encourager)
I have no problem standing up for what I believe. However, I am reluctant when I fear I won’t be able to deliver ALL the facts when the questions, and sometimes the arguments, come. This is why I absorb as much of the Word as possible.
Jan,
I am reluctant as well at times feeling uncertain of things I don’t fully know but I just try like you to soak up all the learning I can 🙂 Sheila, LGG Encourager
I believe that the closer we draw to Jesus & allow him to fill us with His grace & mercy, a lot of those people pleaser problems go away. Because we, tend to judge-Jesus was always quick to embrace the unwanted & outcasts-there was no judgment there-only love. When we emulate Jesus, His love radiates out from us-we don’t need to tell anyone we are a follower of Jesus, because they already know!! They sense His presence! I think we sometimes get a little confused with the words “acceptance, approval”,- to me those are more judgemental terms- when we are not called to judge. Yes, we are mandated to point out if someone is walking in sin but then we turn it over to our Father. He knows exactly how to remedy the situation. We just keep on loving & praying. I love that phrase “an audience of One”. God grant that I never forget that & make every moment my best for You!
Donna that is beautiful! No need to argue or stand screaming “I am a Christian”. People should be able to see it and feel His presence when we are near them. This has always been my favorite line from a song “I live and breathe for an audience of One”. That is how I want to live and in that if others see Him in me they follow. I live this God life out loud and my life speaks what I believe. I don’t argue the word I speak it and live it and then just like you said keep loving and praying. Thank you Donna! Sheila, LGG Encourager
It is always hard to stand against the majority. …..but it is also the right thing to do when standing up for the gospel. Do I always stand firm? No honestly I dont….but I am learning to put Jesus first in my life and finding my way thru the scriptures. He definitely gives me the courage to when I call on him …and merley whisper His name
Alida we are all learning and growing. Thank God for bible studies like this one that helps you dig deep into the Word of God and get it rooted and grounded in your heart so someday you wont be moved. Sheila, LGG Encourager
We all are people pleasers if we are honest here. Its ingrained in us from birth…seeking the approval of other. We sometimes don’t realize we are doing that…pleasing people. It takes determination to focus on making sure what we say, what we do, pleases God more than man. Like Paul, committed and driven, we too can become a true servant of God. Keep focused!!!
Pamela, if we are honest YES we are all a work in progress in this area. I think this truly because transformed in us when we enter into a full understanding of the Father’s love for us. Because once we understand how loved we are by Him it frees those around us and sets us free. We then don’t think about pleasing others or if we got our feelings hurt or what people think because we become more focused on a kingdom mind set that says “I am free to be me and you are free to be you and I love you no matter how you respond to me or what you say”. Sheila, LGG Encourager
Wow. We have many recovering people pleasers here at LGG. I, on the other hand, wish I had more of that quality in me. I must confess that I do not have enough empathy for people sometimes. To me things or so black and white that I just can’t seem to grasp why people don’t see things the way I do. I tend to alienate people as a result. Many times my sharing of Christ turns into arguments because I am so aggressive. I don’t mean for this to happen, but I want the person to have what I have found with Christ so bad that I can’t relate to their questions or concerns. I pray that I gain some of the people pleasing qualities that you all are shedding in order to share Christ in a more effective way. All this to say that people pleasing can be a good quality for Christ as well. The world needs us all!
Rayme,
I love your honesty! Isn’t it a blessing to know that God is not finished with us yet? I must admit that I struggle in this area as well. One thing that I am doing that has helped me is that I’ve started praying daily for God to help me see people and respond to people with His eyes of grace.
Blessings,
Lyli (LGG Encourager)
Thank you for the wonderful message today. Yes, I to recover sometimes daily from all types of things and behaviors. That’s part of being human.
As far as people pleasing goes though, that really struck a cord with me in my life today. I have a sister who is gay and many gay friends who I love dearly and keep in my prayers always. There are many things in the media today that test us all about our faith and what we believe is the truth. We can say the bible is the truth, but there is always the interpretation and the messenger who may or may not put their own spin on it. We all have different filters and lens… we are uniquely designed that way, so how could one’s perception of the truth be truth for all?
I have to stand by what I say and believe with all my heart… I’m not the judge, I stand in my faith and the truth as far as my perceptions go. I believe that God loves all, forgives all and he is the last word on all issues.
I don’t like when I’m ridiculed or poked at because I say I’m a christian to gay family members and friends who like to debate topics of transgender, gay marriage, and more… and tend to get quiet, although I have spoke up… it doesn’t help. I’m not sure if that’s people pleasing… or just taking a path that is more peaceful.
I’m sure I went off topic a little… I guess the bottom line is this. The holy spirit resides in me, my heart and in my words and actions. The world is my church…and the people in it, they are why I have a purpose.
Much love friends,
Tammy
Michigan
Tammy I loved what you said “We all have different filters and lens”. I think of this like in our groups we all have the same core foundation of a scripture but we each take it in a different direction, which I believe is us filtering it through our lens. 🙂 So where ever my heart is and what I am going through at that moment so I get what I need from that scripture or what the Holy Spirit enlightens in me. 🙂 Great thoughts! Sheila, LGG Encourager
Normally, I have no problem with speaking out when I know that I need to defend the Bible or the True Gospel message. However, if it is an area I’m not 100% familiar with, I may decide to go study it before I speak up. I’ve lost more than one opportunity by being unsure of myself and of God’s ability to give me what I need to say.
Beth 🙂 We love when our ladies share their hearts. Thank you! I know what you mean I too have missed opportunities and thank God He if faithful to give us endless chances. But so thankful we have His Word to study and get deep in our hearts so we are fully prepared. Sheila, LGG Encourager
This is good, good stuff. I love how the gospel is always current. I think Social Media is bring this very topic to a whole new level… the whole idea of being ‘unfriended’ brings me right back to that ‘lunch table’… it is a struggle for me to not offend, or not be offended… is this a mission field? Do I really want to be lumped in with one group or labeled and then blocked from sharing the gospel all together? The only answer I have is prayer! If I touchy topic come up, I say a prayer and wait to join in… Proverbs 15:1… let me not stir up anger! Love to you girls… I am praying for you and your ministry.