Divorce changed me. I was a young woman who was on fire for God and ready to slay giants for the kingdom. Then my life changed and I wore the resultant shame like a garment. See, I’m an African child. We are taught to be strong and resilient. You bear it all and when things don’t work out, there’s always something you can do.
I felt the silent eyes of failure and condemnation. I had failed God, my family, a cloud of witnesses, and myself. Surely, I now had no more place in the kingdom. How could I find my confident footing again after such a life-altering experience? I couldn’t bear to look up again, so I retreated in shame.
Then I read the story of Abraham and Sarah. God promised them a son. Instead of trusting God, the One who gave them the promise, they went their own way. Even in their failure, God still chose to fulfill His promise to Abraham. His sin and failure did not define him. Rather, God credited him as righteous because of his faith.
If I didn’t save myself the first time, why did I ever think I could sustain myself in this journey? I was again led back to the cross and reminded that upon a cross, they hung a Man who redefined who I am. I brought my shame to the cross and left it there. Slowly I crawled back to the feet of the One who never banished me from His presence in the first place.
After a few years, it remains a great privilege to love and be loved by God. I strive to extend that love to many others and I hope that my small contribution to the LGG family continues to spread His love far and wide. I seek everyday to be who God has called me to be: Boitumelo, a South African woman who lives to love God and love people.
Boitumelo,
LGG Setswana
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You can find our Faith over Perfection translations here.
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