Your words matter. The words you speak to others and the words you speak to yourself, they all matter.
If you’re anything like me, you save your harshest words for yourself. You know those poison-laced words no one else can hear except you. They repeat themselves over and over again in the confined inner walls of your mind. You think since no one else can hear them, they don’t matter. It’s just your “thoughts,” what harm can they really do? Yet, over time, damage is done, and what was once an invisible wound begins to become visible — your confidence deteriorates. Your anxiety worsens. You start settling for less than your best.
Listen, we must stop this negative self-talk. Be kind to you. Start taking your thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and if you wouldn’t say that to your best friend, then by gully don’t say it to yourself.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:39 that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. Think back to the words you’ve spoken to yourself this past week. Have they been loving? Have they been grace-filled and encouraging? Or have they been words of accusation, ridicule and shame? If we are to love our neighbors as ourselves, we first have to love ourselves. Learning to speak encouraging words and intentionally stopping the negative self-talk is a good place to start.
If Jesus wouldn’t speak to you that way, then why are you? Be kind to yourself. Don’t just make a point to speak life-giving words to your friends, coworkers, family, and neighbors – make a point to speak them to yourself, too.
So,let’s make a pact, shall we? I need to grow in this area in my life, and I think maybe I’m not alone. Care to join me? In an effort to begin speaking to myself as a friend, I’m going to:
- Begin each day with a prayer of gratitude for the way God made me.
- Memorize 2 Corinthians 10:5 and put it into practice in my life. Intentionally stop the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
- Reach out to a trusted friend and ask her to pray for me in this area of my life. I think being open and sharing about the struggle helps to lessen the power of the critical words that I hear.
- Focus on the truth that God loves me, is always with me and has a plan for my life. There is nothing I can do to make God love me more or less than He does right now.
How about you, sweet friend? Care to join me?
Let’s talk: What other items would you add to a “speak to yourself as a friend” list?
Love God Greatly,
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This is something I definitely need to work on. For most of life, I have spoken to myself in a way that I would NEVER speak to anyone else. Thank you for this reminder that these words really do matter, even if no one else hears them.
Nicola,
Thank you for sharing on the blog with us today. I am guilty of this negative self-talk as well. Yes our words matter whether or not anyone else hears them or not. God bless you sister.
Nicola,
I too am guilty of this and am a work in progress. Praise God for grace! You are so right, our words do matter whether or not anyone else hears them or not.
Also making a “mountain out of a molehill” type of talk. For instance, a friend cancels on you and your insecurities run away with on you over how they don’t value you, don’t like you enough to keep the appointment, etc. We must know our identity in Christ and counteract those lies with the truth of what God says. People are going to cancel, flake, or even mistreat us, but that does not devalue who we are in Christ!
Rory,
You are absolutely right! How many times I have done this myself. Amen to what you said! Thank you for being with us on the blog today. God bless you sister.
I’ve been working on this lately, but it is a daily struggle!
Tania,
Thank you so much for sharing with us on the blog today. Yes it is a daily struggle, but Praise God we are not alone. God bless you sister.
I would definitely say that “looking after my physical body and my needs” should be added to “speaking kind words”.
We put others before us, others’ needs, others’ wants… And in the process, we are left usually right at the end of priority list. However, if in the name of not being selfish, we continually put health of our body- physical and mental- to the back burner, we simply never get to look after ourselves. And that will inevitably bring burn out (too much stress), ill- health (bad food and lack of exercise or sleep) and mental health issues (depression). Our bodies are temples of Holy Spirit and if we need to look after ourselves with the same urgency as after everyone else.
Oh yes Katarina you are so right. Wow, I can really relate to what you said. Thank you so much for sharing this with us on the blog today. God bless you sister.
I can definitely relate to this. I have always put everyone ekses needs abd wants before my own. I have been doing a better job on me though and my needs since I lost my precious husband almost 16 months ago. Prayers appreciated fir me as I continue adjusting ti doing life without him here with me. God bless and keep working on you. I know my worth and will no longer accept any less for myself.
Wow. I had to learn YEAH God is the author and creator of thoughts.