“Then I said, I will appeal to this, to the years of the ’right hand of the Most High” I will remember the deeds of the Lᴏʀᴅ, yes, I will remember your wonders of old.” – Psalm 77:10-11
I have cried out to our Lord more in the last two years than any other time in my life. More times than I’d like to admit I have struggled with my raw feelings of abandonment. Questions, like those we read in Psalm 77, have filled my mind as I’ve tried to go to sleep late at night, wondering when God was going to calm the raging storms in my life. Like the disciples, I felt as though I had followed Jesus in a boat out onto a lake and, since then, my life had been rocked relentlessly by one storm after another as each one crashed into my life. It was in the darkest moments of those nights that I allowed my heart and mind to let my guard down and question all that God had permitted to happen.
Did He still love me? I knew the truth in my mind, but what He allowed to come into my life and harm my family and me, felt unloving.
Did He want to take me to my breaking point? It seemed as though I barely had enough time to get my breath when my life was hit by another storm. And the number of storms my family and I had to face in such a short amount of time made me wonder why He hadn’t intervened to lessen each blow.
The pruning in my life has at times made me wonder whether He wanted to prune to cause more growth in my life, or cut me down to where there was nothing left.
Yes, these last two years have been rough.
And yet, I never really understood how lamenting felt until I had to walk through a season of it. Though these past years have been hard, they have also been good. Good because I have grown closer to Jesus in the midst of the pain, in the midst of the unknown, and despite understanding the “why” that kept me up late at night.
Through these two years of lament, I have learned that it is okay to cry out to our Lord. It is okay to question His actions and what He allows in our lives. It is okay to be raw with our emotions when we are hurting and to cry out in the midst of them.
And in those times, when we are tempted to feel despair, choose instead to remember.
Remember how God has been faithful in the past and, in remembering, find the strength to trust. Trust in God’s sovereignty. Trust in God’s wisdom. Trust in God’s love.
Sweet friend, if you have found yourself in a season of lament like I have, let me encourage you to remember, like the Psalmist shares in Psalm 77. Remember that despite how you feel, God has not abandoned you. Remember His years of faithfulness not only to you and to your family but also throughout the Bible.
It is in choosing to remember God’s faithfulness that we can find the strength to trust God amidst the pain of today.
Remember this too will pass, this season will eventually change, the pain will not last forever, and you are not alone in the middle of it. Cry out to God and remember His faithfulness to you as He gives you the strength to stand one more day.
Love God Greatly,
