During my life, I have faced many trials. Each challenge has formed who I am today. Some would say that I have every right to be bitter, but carrying that anger with me has kept a focus on the past and hindered me from the path God has laid before me. The Love God Greatly Bible Study, You Are Forgiven, showed me many areas where I didn’t even realize I was harboring grudges and anger, where I needed to “let go and let God,” and those I needed to forgive, including myself. I share my testimony in hopes that your eyes may be opened as well, and as an inspiration to others who may have similar experiences.
I used to think being adopted meant I was unwanted, or a mistake. But the truth is… I was CHOSEN! Having children of my own, I eventually felt the desire to reach out to my biological father. After my adopted parents had passed away, I made several attempts to contact my biological father, but for reasons unknown to me, he never answered my letters. I have chosen to forgive him regardless.
My high school graduation night ended with my innocence being taken from me while out with friends …my life was changed forever. Even though justice was not brought to him on earth, he will one day have to answer to the ultimate judge. During our You Are Forgiven study, Mary DeMuth shared her testimony about rape on our blog. I realized that this traumatic event and my anger toward those involved needed to end after more than thirty years! I forgave them that night and no longer let those actions define me.
Throughout the study, those who abused and abandoned me over the years came to mind. The physical and emotional abuse endured by them as well as those who turned away because they didn’t understand or didn’t want to be involved…in the end, I choose to forgive them all.
But most importantly, I forgave myself. My struggles with anxiety and depression have taken a toll on me throughout my life, but the past several years seem to have been the most devastating to my family and me.
I am so blessed to have found Love God Greatly and don’t believe it is a coincidence that it was at this lowest point in my life! This ministry and the friendships I have made here have been my saving grace, and I am forever changed and forever grateful.
I am still a work in progress. God knows my heart, and He is my strength. I am looking forward to coming through this dark valley and seeing all He has planned for my life!
Velma Johnston