Why is it so hard to make friends?
I’m not talking about Facebook friends or Instagram followers.
I’m talking about deep, meaningful, long-lasting connections with women.
When we were in kindergarten, our friend was whoever played with us.
In college, our friends were the ones who stayed up with us all night studying and crying over heartbreak.
As we moved into adulthood, things got a little trickier.
I do have a very, very, very small group of my closest friends that have been my confidantes for decades. They know me, inside and out. The good, the bad, and the ugly. They tolerate all the craziness that is me, but tell me the truth even when I refuse to hear it. The roots of our friendship run deep.
When I have sincerely tried to build relationships with new friends, many obstacles popped up.
Lack of time.
Lack of energy.
You see what I mean? Tricky.
“And let us take thought of how to spur one another on to love and good works, not abandoning our own meetings, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and even more so because you see the day drawing near.” —Hebrews 10:24-25
As believers, when we first surrendered our life to Jesus Christ, we became one body, the church, with Christ as the head. We became family with every believer. As a part of God’s family, He commands us to demonstrate Jesus Christ’s love to both believers and unbelievers until He returns.
Maybe because we live in a broken world, true friendship often causes some fear and hesitation. We have all experienced the pain of betrayal, heartache, and deception caused by others. It becomes easy to create shallow connections with women on social media and in our lives. Sometimes we lack the time and energy to persevere and endure deeply with people and their problems. It can be discouraging.
However, Jesus Christ is our hope. He is the fuel that keeps our faith alive in our life’s work to pour out our love on others.
Faith. Hope. Love. They all work together.
You can practice faith and hope when you are all by yourself, but you can not encourage others, comfort others, or serve others all by yourself.
1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us that although faith, hope, and love will last forever, the greatest of these is love. I think that is because you must connect with someone in order to love in the way that God intended.
“For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love you have demonstrated for His name, in having served and continuing to serve the saints.” —Hebrews 6:10
You have been called into community to love. Not just for yourself, but for the other people who need what God has specifically placed in you.
God wishes to accomplish great things in your life, and He will often use the love of His people in order to accomplish His purposes. Don’t miss God because you dismissed His messenger.
This can be especially hard within the church family.
When feelings of resistance spring up when faced with fellowshipping with believers in the church, we must remind ourselves of the faith we have in God and His faithfulness to enable us to do everything He has called us to do.
For introverts, that may mean stepping out in faith to attend a strictly social fellowship event, intentionally connecting with one person to steadily and gradually build a deeper relationship.
For extroverts, that may mean rather than simply meeting and making connections with various people, intentionally dive in to build a deeper, transparent relationship that lasts longer than the length of the Bible study.
When we grow tired of the frustration and drama that comes with trying to love and support people, we must remind ourselves of the hope we have in God.
We remind ourselves that God sees every secret sacrifice and promises to reward all things done in His name. We filter every loving act we commit through the selfless love and sacrifice in Jesus that God has graciously provided. Through Him, all things, even the hardest things, are possible.
Peace and grace to you,
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