I don’t think there’s a more accurate quote regarding friendships as this: “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”
Friendship is a really big deal.
We invest in (or are encouraged to pursue) education and training for much in this life, including but not limited to job training, musical instrument education, fitness training, drivers education, premarital counseling etc., but for something as important as friendships, we’re essentially left to figure this out on our own from a very young age. I remember coming home from kindergarten and telling my parents all about my new “best friend.” By the time I started to hear things like “choose your friends wisely,” it was about five or six years after I was picking my own friends based on very superficial qualifications.
Who we spend time with, lend an ear to, and allow to speak into our lives will most definitely have an impact.
In 1 Corinthians 15:33 a strong and clear warning is given: “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals.'”
The Corinthians were being influenced by non-Christians who persuaded them to enjoy worldly pleasures as they did not believe there was a heaven to look forward to.
We must live with eternity in mind, otherwise we will forfeit our inheritance for what feels and sounds good in the moment.
As a single mom, raising two young children, the weight of motherhood weighs heavy on my heart. Although it looks and feels like I am doing this alone, the Lord is near and making all things possible. As I’ve navigated adultery in my marriage, which led to divorce and single motherhood, I can honestly say that those heartbreaking experiences have made me a more fierce and focused mom. I am raising my children differently these days and my eyes are set on eternity like never before.
I learned some very real and hard lessons about friendships as I walked through my divorce. I quickly learned who was a real friend and who was around for all the wrong reasons. I found the ones who would fight for honor alongside me and the ones who weren’t brave enough for the battle. In some cases, I was shocked at how this all played out. The ones I thought would be my ride-or-die couldn’t hang. However, the Lord assigned the perfect companions to go into the deep with me.
What I’ve learned about friendship these past few years is exactly what I am teaching my young children today. As parents, we have a part to play in educating our children about friendships. If we don’t, the world will (the Bible is very clear about this).
The world is a temptress and the Lord sees our friendship with the things of this world as being adulterous. We are to be faithful with our relationship to God.
Are the women in your life pushing you toward the ways of the Lord? Is their speech uplifting and life-giving? Will they chase you down and hold you accountable if and when you go off course? Will they fight alongside you? Are they long-suffering?
These are important questions to ask. I encourage you today to take inventory of those you have given a front row seat in your life. Some people may need to be moved to the balcony. I’m giving you permission to rearrange and prioritize Godly relationships in your life. Just because you’ve been friends with someone for twenty years doesn’t give them the credentials to speak into your life.
If you roll in the mud, you’ll get dirty. It’s a fact.
We must choose wisely.
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