I have one hidden deep, dark desire, and I am going to share it with you. This is really embarrassing! However, James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another so that we may be healed. So…no more hiding!
I have been going through a season when my faith has become more about what God can do for me rather than who God is. My desire has been to seek personal notoriety for God…to make my name known. Ugh. It is shameful because I know the sins I’m committing, and I know the root from which they are sprouting.
I’m experiencing quite a distressful season of pridefulness, self-sufficiency, arrogance, and the need for praise and affirmation. Most importantly, I am experiencing a lack of faith and trust in who God is and what God has said in His Word.
One of the biggest struggles that I have had during my Christian walk is accepting the truth that God’s love for me is unconditional. My soul grapples with the fact that even when I fail, God’s love for me never changes.
When I struggle to trust God’s unconditional love for me, my fickle, inconsistent feelings lead me down a destructive path of emotional highs and lows. I will repeatedly attempt to please my own selfish desires instead of living for God.
It is so difficult for me to comprehend the depths that God would go to have an intimate relationship with me. Jesus, my Messiah, willingly and selflessly chose and endured undeserved torturous suffering so that I wouldn’t have to.
Each one of God’s children, those who have been saved through faith in Jesus Christ, is precious to Him. He sees His children—each one shining like a light in His family. We are not lost in the crowd; you and I are seen, known, and loved by God.
God has blessed each one of us with something sacred, whether it is a relationship, a gift, a role we fill, a story we carry, or a calling we are walking out. Whatever we have been blessed with is not by accident and is deeply meaningful to God. He has entrusted each blessing to us on purpose and for a purpose.
Our invitation by God is not to do everything but to be faithful with what we have been blessed.
“The one who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and the
one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.”
– Luke 16:10
When I take my eyes off of God, I am tempted to compare blessings. I will begin to crave and covet a person’s particular blessing, a relationship, or a gift, that was set in place by God for that specific person.
But when my focus is on God and His kingdom, He opens my eyes to the beauty of what He has entrusted specifically to me, which is to be used for His glory.
“Now what is sought in stewards is that one be found faithful.”
– 1 Corinthians 4:2
1 Corinthians 4:2 reminds me that God does not care about the amount or degree of work but of my faithfulness towards the completion. God is searching for hearts that are willing – not perfect.
God is searching for women who will carry what He has entrusted to them with love, humility, and a deep desire to glorify only Him. No matter how insignificant, ordinary, or small a task seems to us, it can have great significance to God’s eternal plan.
Father God, I come to you with a heavy heart. I want to repent and ask for forgiveness for the selfishness, pride, and unfaithfulness that I have exhibited. Help me to keep my eyes focused on you and all that you have done for me. Show me how to help others with the gifts that you have entrusted to me. Help me to see that my gifts do not have to be big in the world’s eyes in order to be beautiful and significant in your eyes. In Jesus’ holy and precious name. Amen.
Grace and peace unto you,
