Open-Handed Prayers

Acknowledging Our Limitations Through Prayer

Praying for our children is the most important thing we can do as mothers. The responsibilities and seemingly unending tasks we perform for our children are practical expressions of our love for them. From surrendering our bodies to the changes of pregnancy, pain in childbirth, sleepless newborn nights, endless loads of laundry, countless meals, doctor appointments, chauffeuring, sports events, school events, extracurriculars, managing friendships, navigating disappointments, celebrating victories, disciplining, teaching, learning together, loving…and so much more. The job of being a mother is unlike anything else we do in life. It is a deep pouring out of ourselves. But praying for our children is a deep pouring out of our souls to God. 

When we pray for our children, we are actually acknowledging our limitations as a mom. We are admitting that we can’t do it all on our own, and we invite God in to help. Every mother wants the very best for her child. We have great hopes and dreams for them but also deep fears and concerns. We want them to have a wonderful life. And we will do everything in our power to make that happen. 

But in doing so, is it possible that we are holding on too tightly? Do we coddle them so much, out of love and concern, that they never learn how to do hard things? Are we holding on to our children, or are we surrendering them to the Lord? Are our priorities in alignment with God’s will for their lives, or OUR will for their lives? Are we raising children who, like Mark Batterson said, think the purpose of life “is to arrive safely at death”? Or, are we raising them to experience the “incomparable greatness of [God’s] power” toward them? 

Allowing God to Work

Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 1:17-19 reveals his deep desire for the Ephesians to know God and the scope of His omnipotence. This truth should be the foundational prayer of our hearts as mothers. If the “eyes of [our children’s] hearts have been enlightened”, meaning they have received Jesus as their Lord and Savior, then this is what we are to pray. We ask that God will give them “spiritual wisdom and revelation” so that they “may know what is the hope of His calling.” We also pray that they may know “the wealth of His glorious inheritance” and the “incomparable greatness of his power” toward all who believe. This prayer is not only for our children, but God also wants this for us! 

But, how do we get these spiritual riches? Does God just magically impart all of them to us? The answer is in verses 17 and 19. We receive these things as we grow in our “knowledge of Him” and “the exercise of His immense strength.” There is a holy tension that is present. While our growth is ultimately up to the work of the Holy Spirit, we also have a responsibility to seek after the Lord and discipline ourselves in the ways of living for Christ. As we seek God, He will reveal Himself to us. As we surrender our control, we will experience His immense strength. We come to fully know God by fully surrendering every area of our lives to Him. 

The same is true for our children. If we buffer and protect them from every hardship or pain, then they will never have the opportunity to see and recognize the protection and comfort of God. If we make their path of life only easy and blessed, how will they trust that God is good when life gets hard? Our children cannot experience God for themselves if we keep playing God for them. 

Revelations 5:8 says that our prayers fill golden bowls as an incense before the throne of God. How beautiful is that! Each of our prayers are not only remembered, they are saved. They are collected and put together with the prayers of all the saints. And they will be an incense, a pleasing aroma before the Lord. Think for a moment about the prayers you have prayed for your child/children. They, no doubt, range from practical and simple to gut wrenching and heartbroken. God hears them all. He saves them all. He will answer them all, in one way or another. And one day, when we are face to face with Jesus, it will all make sense. 

Hands Open to God

As I dropped off our second son at college, God taught me an unexpected lesson on how to pray for our kids. With excitement, we placed the last items into his dorm room, and he was officially moved in. Immediately, it was as if a switch went off, and he was different. His joy turned to deep sorrow. I had never seen him like this. No words were spoken about this altered state, but my heart became heavy with the weight of his. As he spent the first night in his dorm, I cried out to the Lord from my hotel room. Multiple possibilities flooded my mind. Should I withdraw him from school and take him back home? Should I let him take up his best friend’s offer to move to Hawaii and complete college courses online? 

God used a book I had been reading on trusting Him through fearful times to show me how I could intercede for my son. I stopped and prayed, “Lord, what do you want to tell me right now?” God said, not audibly, but almost as a shout in my spirit…”He is mine, I’ve got him!” There was even a clear undertone of “Back off.” 

On the one hand, I was praying that our son would know God more intimately, trust God more fully, and see God’s power at work in his life. Then on the other hand, I was trying to intercede out of “good intentions” when God was answering my prayer in a way I didn’t like. God was right. I needed to “back off,” so I did. I left him there. When I told my dad about the wrestling I had over leaving our son at college, he said “He needs to stay, otherwise he will never get out of the stroller.” What powerful words. 

How will our children grow in their knowledge of God if they don’t experience who God is personally? How will they understand “His immense strength” if they’ve never had to rely on it for themselves? All of our good intentions and protection could actually be keeping our kids from truly knowing God. What if the “hard” we are trying to protect our kids from is the very thing they must experience in order to understand the power of God in their own lives? The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us. But that power wasn’t exercised until Christ died. There has to be a death in us too. We have to die to ourselves. Die to our will for our lives, and die to our will for our kids’ lives. Only then, will they experience the power of the risen Christ for themselves. And the prayer of our hearts can truly be…”they are yours God, You’ve got them!”