Haman said, “Furthermore, Queen Esther invited only me to accompany the king to the banquet that she prepared. And also tomorrow I am invited along with the king. Yet all this fails to satisfy me so long as I have to see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate.”
– Esther 5:12-13
Ah, Haman. The villain in the story. The one we love to despise. The prideful trickster. If this were a Disney movie, when Haman entered the scene, the dastardly devilish music would ensue. And yet.
I can’t help feeling sorry for this scoundrel. Haman craved significance above all things. And not just to be significant but for everyone to know and see that he was significant. He felt quite puffed up that he alone was summoned to the party with the two royals but that Mordecai had a real way of ruffling his feathers. When Haman went out joyful, glad of heart, but then saw that Mordecai didn’t rise or tremble before him again, he was filled with wrath (Esther 5:9). Mordecai once again does not show Haman proper respect, and it makes Haman crazy. Because Haman’s ego is so fragile, it certainly doesn’t take much to send him reeling.
One commentator writes, “His emotional strings were being pulled by his idol, which was public respect. When that idol was fed, he felt good; but when his idol was challenged, it led him to malice and anger… His joy and his anger were simply the outward expressions of his heart’s idolatry.”
Haman really is a likeness to which we can compare ourselves. He made an idol of something, and his whole emotional well-being was tied into this idol. Because of this idol, there would always be a void left at the center of things, especially when something upset his feeling of public respect.
Yet again, I see myself in Haman. How quickly I fall into this trap of idolatry and searching for significance outside of my identity in Christ. Do you see yourself? What is the idol in your life that you find yourself clinging to desperately in order to give you significance?
Here are few big ones:
- Is it physical appearance or weight?
- A need for approval or to be “liked” on social media?
- A need to have everything “put together”? To be seen as the one who has it all under control?
- To be popular or included in social groups?
- Or [fill in the blank]?
The good news, no the GREAT NEWS, is that the gospel has answered our need for significance with an ability to find our value outside of what others think about us. We have a God who loves us no matter what, even in spite of our sin. And this is something I wish we could go back and tell Haman. No matter how hard you try, you will never be satisfied chasing after significance outside of Christ. But, I’m not sure he would have listened.
We, on the other hand, have an opportunity to repent of our idolatry and turn our hearts back to Christ.
So, let me ask you. What is that thing in your life that your heart keeps turning to in order to find significance? Has it satisfied you? Satisfaction can be found today in Jesus. He’s open and waiting.
