Psalm 51:1
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
According to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.”
It affected my health. Sin has a way of invading every part of your being.
As time went on, I became more anxious and guilt-ridden over my transgressions. I was overwhelmed with self-condemnation and the anguish over my situation became so heavy that it began to affect me physically. I wanted to be rid of it but I didn’t know who to tell and I didn’t know where to go with my tormented conscience. I felt frantic and longed to cleanse my heart and mind of the grief that I’d brought upon myself.
One day, I made my way to a park. As I sat there, I prayed in desperation, begging God to forgive me for the sins I’d committed.
At once, I felt an overwhelming peace come over me and I knew I was forgiven. I felt as though something lifted off of me and my heart was at rest. It was such a beautiful experience. The following Sunday I went to church and it was as if God’s Word was sticking to me and the Gospel began to have meaning to me.
One month later I was sitting in a medical facility. There was a woman seated next to me and I began talking to her about God. I told her about my experience in the park and the peace that came after I prayed for forgiveness. She held my hand and talked to me about Jesus and how I could have a personal relationship with Him. When I prayed for forgiveness at the park, I didn’t know anything about receiving Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. I found it incredible that God orchestrated the events of my life to allow this woman to guide me into an intimate relationship with God. She and I prayed together and I asked Jesus to come into my heart, forgive me of my sins, and bring me into relationship with Himself. When we finished praying she said,
“Welcome to the family of God. You are my sister in Christ.”
The woman asked if I’d join her at her church the following Sunday. When I arrived she gave me my first Bible. Inside she wrote the date that I accepted Jesus, the day we prayed together in the medical facility. She invited me to a Bible study which happened to be in the building where I lived. During the course of the study I was able to meet other women, sisters in Christ, who shared a love for Jesus.
Our family had been living in Japan and we were to return to the United States. When we arrived stateside I began attending Sunday church but found once a week church attendance wasn’t enough for me. I was so hungry for the Word of God that I began looking for an online Bible study to do during the week. That’s when I found Love God Greatly. I joined a group and enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with the Lord every morning. Two years ago after a few studies, I became a facilitator. The fellowship with the other women in the study has been so helpful to me and my spiritual growth.
My husband has not yet come to know the Lord. I believe God is showing me that I need to be more prayerful and less assertive when I share my faith with him. I am so passionate about God, often unable to contain my happiness and I want to tell him all about Jesus, about the meaning He has given to my life, but he doesn’t always understand or want to hear about it.
I feel God is impressing on my heart to talk less and pray more for my husband and children.
I can see God pursuing my family and have witnessed Him working things out in my home. I am trusting that God will continue to work amazingly in their lives as He draws them to Himself, as He did me. God’s love never fails.
Marilyn, American Canyon, California
Interview conducted and post written by Joan, LGG Leadership Team Member
Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful testimony, Marilyn! Your words spoke to my heart and was perfect timing as I was contemplating just this morning how to perfectly craft words to my husband so that he could finally get my point. I know now that God sent this to remind me to “talk less and pray more”. Big Hug to you and may God loves continue to pursue you and your family!
Beautiful testimony of your brokenness, and God’s merciful mending. He is so awesome. He is able and willing to do all things, and His timing is perfect!
Hi Marilyn,
Thank you for sharing you story. Like yourself, once I received Jesus into my life I began to thrirst for more of the word of God and also was not satisfied with once a week attendance in my church although each Sunday was amazing. I came across Love God Greatly one evening I knew this was it for me! This spiritual journey is not easy, the battle of the flesh each day at times tests my faith. But I do know as long as I keep seeking God through his word and prayer I will be a mighty force to reckon with. Every since I have found LGG online it is how I also start off my morning. Yes God never fails!
Marilyn, I too will pray for You and your family and God’s continued pursuit. Thanks for sharing your life story.
Thanks for sharing your heart and for the reminder to talk less and pray more for my husband and children! So true! God bless you!
Marilyn, thanks for sharing what’s going on in your life and the advice to pray more, talk less…this is what I’ve been trying to do….waiting (without becoming discouraged) in God’s timing to open hearts!
Thanks for sharing your brokenness! I understand! I’ve been married 26 years, 20 of them my husband has been what the doctors term “high functioning” alcoholic. Last March his body started shutting down due to excessive drinking. He was sober 5 months 22 days that I know. When I realized mid July he was drinking again, it was like that final straw. I had always attended church but didn’t have a relationship with God. I was ask in August to attend a bible study group while there someone mention LGG, I ask about it and immediately went home and joined. Between LGG and my other bible study group I crave God, can not get enough!!! I attend mass every morning and Saturday evening and a non-denominational Church on Sunday. God has brought so much PEACE to me. After 2 stays in rehab, my husband will never admit he has a problem, he walks around our small town as though he has done nothing wrong and everyone treats him the same.
I pray daily for God to give me an answer, do I stay in this loveless, destructive marriage, or do I leave.
God bless all the women who part of LGG!
What a beautiful testimony and blog post!!! Thank you for sharing with us your beautiful experience of becoming a part of the family of God!!!!
Marilyn,
I love a good God story. Thanks for sharing yours with us.
Praying today for your husband and children to come to know Jesus as their personal Savior.
Hugs,
Lyli
Love you Marilyn!!!!
Marilyn, I also have a husband who does not know Jesus. I understand your desire to talk about all the differences Jesus has made in your life. I often think, ” If my husband would only let Jesus become part of his life, the times of anger and pain he feels would become less.” But at this time, this prayer is not answered. I still continue to ask God to open my husband’s eyes to all of the possibilities that exist as a believer. And then when there is an opportunity for me to tell my husband more I try to explain my belief. Sometimes he listens, sometime he doesn’t. But at least I have tried.
Don’t give up on praying for your husband, and don’t completely quit talking. Watch for the right opportunities and take advantage of them. I will be praying for your husband along with mine.
Thank so much for your powerful testimony. I needed to read and recieve it at this moment in my life. It helps to be reminded of who you are in the lord and that prayer is a powerful weapon.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder to speak less and PRAY more. I get so excited too and just want my husband to feel the peace and joy of having a relationship with the Lord. I trust that all things are in His timing, but sometimes I admit I do get frustrated and hurt. He won’t attend church and I sometimes long to have a spiritual leader of my marriage, and sometimes feel embarrassed that I am alone in church, but God is so good and I know I just need to be the example in our home and my actions and prayer will lead him to Christ. Thank you for your honesty and sharing your story.