“If you are waiting for me to tell you I love you, you’ll be waiting forever.”
When I first heard these words, I remember audibly gasping, as if my juvenile body couldn’t fully absorb the force and impact of the strike. The words pierced my soul, cleaving me with one fierce swoop from the girl I thought I was and the maternal love I thought I possessed. My heart burst into a million pieces. My spirit was crushed. The bedrock on which I had built my sense of self crumbled all around me. The words seared into my brain. In that moment, I was forever branded “unloved.”
Even decades later, I can still replay those same words over and over, with a precise description of every detail down to the split second I heard them. I’m amazed by the power they still hold. I can immediately revert back to the little girl who was physically shaken by the sting of rejection.
Even when I’m not consciously thinking about it, that old familiar melody blends softly into the background of my life. The words lilt and flow like instrumental elevator music, “You are unlovable and unworthy of love. ” The lie resonates so distinctly and so loudly.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8
When God gathered together all of my broken pieces and recreated me anew, I wondered what He would do with this heaping pile of pain, rejection, and unworthiness that clung to me like an old dryer sheet.
How would God love me out of this mess? You see, I knew that God so loved “the world” and by extension, that meant me too. I believed that God loved me…by default. God was forced to love me, because He had to honor His promise. God tolerated me, because I was a small, insignificant part of the world that He wanted saved. The lie had snowballed and become much louder – so loud that it had now contaminated my salvation.
However, lies cannot stand in the face of God’s Truth. With lots and lots of prayer and lots and lots of God-sent helpers, God poured into me a deep hunger and thirst for His love and for His Word. It took a long time for me to understand that when lies get loud, God’s truth must echo louder.
In my mind, love was a very abstract concept that depended on what I was feeling and experiencing. I believed that God’s love for me varied from day to day and even from moment to moment.
However, the truth is that God’s love isn’t abstract at all. God’s love shows up as a person – Jesus. Jesus is love. Jesus’ love is exactly as He is…intimate, personal, all-powerful, unchanging, constant, and absolutely dependable. Jesus didn’t just die for the world. He died for me…individually. He died for all of the messy, broken, and rejected parts of me. Jesus fiercely loves me just as I am, and there is nothing I can do about it.
If God is fully committed to loving me with His relentless and unfailing love, how committed am I to believing that I possess His love?
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:37-39
I wish I could say that I rarely hear that old familiar tune of rejection or that I no longer struggle with the voices of unworthiness. I struggle, but now I know what to do. I scream His Word out loudly to my broken heart until the lie is silenced and only the Truth endures.
Here’s the Truth. Jesus was crushed for MY iniquity. His body was broken for ME. He sacrificed everything for ME, because I am worth everything to Him. Jesus loves me with an unbreakable, unshakable, unbending, unending love! His love for me has never been an obligation. He pursued ME and chooses ME day after day for all eternity. There is nothing I can do to make God love me any more than He does. There is nothing I can do to make God love me any less than He does.
I fight daily to walk boldly, confidently, and securely in God’s love and forgiveness. I fight, because when I truly know God loves me, I am no longer desperate for everybody else to love me. God’s relentless love for me shapes the way I live and the way I love.
On those days when I forget that I am loved, I run to the precious pages of His Living Word for the proof. There, I am found. There, I am always reminded that I am fully known, fully accepted, and deeply loved.
In what circumstances are you tempted to doubt God’s relentless love for you?
How can we pray for you as you combat lies of doubt, unworthiness, and rejection?
Peace and grace to you,
Terria serves on the LGG encourager and social media teams. She lives in Virginia with her husband. She is a proud mother of two beautiful girls in college. Her passionate goal is to ignite and empower a generation of millennial women to grab hold of God’s truth and cling to it. She can be tracked down hard at work in busy hospitals listening to patients’ stories, while sharing the lessons and love that God has poured out in her life. Despite the sometimes chaotic circumstances of Terria’s life, God always shows Himself strong and loving.
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Thank you for your message this morning. It is so difficult for me to comprehend the depth of God’s love. But, how desperately I need to grasp and understand it. I am constantly replaying the words of my husband as he walked out on me for another woman in August 2011. The words ringing in my ears, “I haven’t been in love with you since 2003, or 2004!” This happened after I became disabled in December 2009, when I needed him more than ever. I pray God can erase these words from mind.
Oh Sweet Carol, I have been in your place. I know the devastation of hearing these words from the man we thought would love and care for us through the good times an the bad. Just know that you are so loved by The One who created you. Pick up His word and absorb the love that so freely flows throughout it. You are His daughter and He loves you with a fierce kind of love that we will never understand this side of Heaven. I’m praying for you today, sweet Sister! May you feel the peace that only God can provide.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers. I really appreciate your words!
Carol,
Rachelle is absolutely right…you are so deeply loved by God! I do know your struggle. I still continue, like you, to fight to embrace the depths of God’s love…to cling to His promises of acceptance and worthiness. It is hard, but we must persevere!
Our minds, our hearts, and our spirits have suffered from the collateral damage of rejection, neglect, and abandonment! But no more! God can no longer allow us to play it small walking in unworthiness and insignificance, because our pain is based on lies that were planted in us by flawed, imperfect, damaged individuals.
I will be here praying and fighting alongside you…fighting to tear down painful words of hate and destruction embedded in my heart while rebuilding with soothing words of love and acceptance. It continues to be a long hard messy process…but all construction is! You are never alone, Carol! Love you, sister! ❤️
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Thank you Terria, I love all you godly ladies at LGG, and the Bible studies and your Blogs. I always look forward to spending time in the Lord first thing in the morning in the LGG studies. I am very thankful for you and your words of encouragement. I pray for you as you work to serve our Lord! Love you, Sister!
Thanks for writing your blog. Where in VA do you live? I live in Suffolk, VA and have wondered how close are others in this ministry.
Linda
Hi Linda,
I live in Hampton, and I work at Langley AFB. I’m so glad to know that Hampton Roads is well represented! ❤️
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Thank you for today’s blog. I have struggled with believing Gods love while I was going through a rough, painful trial for 3 months. It was a lie from Satan a trap that just because I’m struggling and might not meet his standards in the midst of it I can always rest assured that nothing can separate me from His love. Satan’s motive is to steal, destroy, and kill. I am glad God rescued me from the pit of darkness and brought me back to understanding that he will never leave me nor forsake me. Praise God!
Rom 8:35-39
“Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, ” FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:35-39 NASB
Jenna,
I’m so glad that you know this is a lie! So often, figuring that out is the hardest part. I pray that you keep pouring God’s truth in your heart. I also pray that you are able to share your testimony with many women so they will know that they are not alone in the struggle. May God’s peace and love comfort you always! ❤️
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
So, so good. And . . . thank you. This is the area I struggle with the most. It’s hard to comprehend that God loves me when I have had so much rejection by those who claimed to love me. I know that He loves me . . . in my head . . . but it’s harder to convince my heart. Thank you for your words; I wrote some of them in my Bible as a reminder.
Tashina,
Thank you so much for your encouragement! I would love if you continued to pray for me as I still struggle. I will definitely be praying for you! Let’s never give up the fight! ❤️
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Terria,
This was one of the best posts I have ever read. So personal. So powerful. I am encouraged that not only does God heal deep wounds, but He can take the wounded and use them mightily for His glory. Thank you for sharing this bit of your story and your dynamic way of fighting for Truth.
Oh Terri,
Thank you so much for your gift of encouragement! This has been such a struggle for me and to be quite honest, I was a little ashamed and embarrassed of putting it out there. But God consistently reminds me that His truth exposes and crushes all of the secrets and lies I cling to. Please continue to pray for me! I pray that God continues to use you and your gifts mightily as an amazing encourager for all the women He places in your path!❤️
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Please pray for my husbands Job search . There are so many things intertwined with this , that I drive myself crazy. God feels so silent, pray for me to keep my faith and trust in God
Melissa,
Although He may seem silent, God is working behind the scenes to make right His chosen path for you and your husband. Praying for you both during this time of transition that His peace will calm your anxious hearts, and His paths for you will be made known very soon. God Bless You!
Father God, I lift Melissa and her husband up to You. Calm her heart as she and her husband navigate the waters of confusion and frustration while trying to remain patient and wait on You. We trust You, Lord, but sometimes there is so much pain in the waiting. Lord, help them to stand, to remain strong, to cling to their faith. Show them Your loving hand in their situation so that they can rest in You. Lord, we believe but help our unbelief. We love You Lord, and we will worship and praise You even in the midst of darkness. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Melissa,
I will be praying for you and your husband. When we don’t know what is happening or what to do, the only thing we can do is cling to what we know.
And what we know is THIS: Melissa, you are loved and adored by the Creator of Heaven and Earth. He is always for you and never against you. He would sacrifice any and everything just for you. You can trust in His goodness. He is working right at this moment on your behalf. If things are not working out right now, it is because He has something much better for you. If nothing else gives you comfort, I pray that God’s overwhelming love for you will comfort you at this time! ❤️
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
This is me….my whole life….
Debby,
Oh, sweet friend, do not be crushed by the lies of the enemy! God loves you so much that He sacrificed His Son, Jesus, so He could have a relationship with you. Continue to combat Satan’s lies with God’s Truths. Lifting you in prayer!
Debby,
You are not alone! I am so thankful though that we fight from a position of victory and that we go into battle arm-in-arm! We will speak God truths and promises to ourselves until every lie we believe about ourselves is drowned by His Living Water! Please pray for me, and I will be praying for you and fighting with you! God is ALL we need to win this battle! He will have the final say! Fight on, sister!❤️
~Terria (LGG Encourager)