One of the heaviest burdens a woman will ever carry is guilt. Most of us who know the weight of guilt and shame. Sometimes it is because of something we have done and other times it is because of something others have done to us. How often have you done something that you are ashamed of and been overwhelmed with guilt? And how often have we carried that burden around for days or weeks or even years?
A lie that we all to often believe is that this shame and guilt is a form of punishment from God. That He wants us to carry the burden of guilt as a form of penance because we have been bad. But this is far from the truth.
There are two kinds of guilt that theologians talk about and that we all deal with:
1. Felt Guilt
Here is the uncomfortable truth. If we do something wrong we should feel guilty about it. I should feel the painful pang of guilt on days where I am unkind in my words and tone towards my family. It should bother me. My conscience should poke me and let me know that that kind of behavior is not alright. When we are mean, ungracious, unforgiving, hard, harsh, selfish, lazy, prideful, immoral (the list could go on, but I think you get the point), we are not honoring or glorifying God or acting in a way that is becoming of someone saved from God’s judgement and wrath. The natural consequence of sin in the life of a believer is the felt conviction that we did wrong.
While ungodly behavior or wrongdoing should bring with it the feeling of guilt, that feeling serves a purpose beyond itself.
The purpose of felt guilt is to grieve us over our sin, move us to seek the forgiving and restoring grace of God, and endeavor to walk in the way of holiness. This guilt is a gift, not a punishment. It is an aid to the believer who responds to it well.
2. Actual Guilt
Felt guilt is an experience of internal conviction. Actual guilt is a spiritual state of being with condemnation for our crimes.
David Platt points out that, from the beginning of the Old Testament, God is constantly delivering His people out of shame and restoring their honor. As a matter of fact, the first promise in the Bible is a promise of deliverance after Adam and Eve had sinned (Gen. 3:15).
That promise was fulfilled on the hill at Golgotha, where God took our guilt and shame and placed it on Jesus.
I love the song that says …
O Christ, what burdens bowed Thy head!
Our load was laid on Thee;
Thou stoodest in the sinner’s stead,
Didst bear all ill for me.
A Victim led, Thy blood was shed;
Now there’s no load for me.Written by Anne Cousin 1864-1906, sung by Amanda Greene
Our actual guilt before God is what Jesus took upon Himself on the cross. This means that, on the deepest level, we are no longer guilty before God. We may feel those pangs of guilt when we do something wrong throughout our day and life, but ultimately that shame and guilt CANNOT condemn you. Your ransom has been paid, your sins forgiven, your guilt removed and your life restored.
Do not believe the lie that the guilt and shame you experience is a punishment from God. Jesus has been punished in your place.
Instead, the shame and guilt we experience are natural consequences for doing something we shouldn’t have done. It should be a reminder that we are not perfect but have a perfect Savior who not only was punished for that sin, but is there to give us the power to overcome, grow, and change.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1
This is a great and powerful verse that we should know inside and out so we can fight against that lie that shame and guilt are our punishment. Not only has our slate been wiped clean, but it remains clean all because of the beautiful and undeserved sacrifice of Jesus.
Looking to Jesus,
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“And my God will supply all your need according to His riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19
“And He said to me, “ My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:19a
There is no lack in God’s supply, we are filled by Jesus. Water turned to wine for celebration. A handful of fish and bread becomes enough to feed thousands who hunger. Our weakness and failure, sickness and sins will never push God away from us, but rather gives His grace room to move in where we need it most. The more space, the more room for grace. Paul prays for the thorn in his flesh to be removed three times. God’s answer is clear. Grace. Being content in the weakness. Therein lies true strength.
In my weakness, there is temptation to reach for things other than God. Where I am lacking, my pride tells me I am justified to reach for the things the world gives no matter the cost. It’s so easy, but the consequences can be hard. Letting God’s power work in my life means to take His unending, smiling grace over me as the gift it is, and let His strength supply all my needs.
The distance between God’s perfection and me is filled with grace. No amount of doing better will make a dent in the amount of grace I need. I saw a diagram of a line drawn representing God and His perfectness. And another line drawn just below representing a Christian’s mark toward perfection. Grace filled the space. But you know what? That space was too small. Any line drawn anywhere near God’s perfection symbolizing me would be too close. That space filled with grace? It’s immense. As it should be. Our sin nature is what it is. No amount of striving will ever make us sin free. It just is. If anyone boasts of being near perfection in God’s eyes just doesn’t get it. It’s not about how good or bad we are, but it’s about how good God is.
His goodness compared to ours is referenced as filthy rags. This is just our state of affairs. The original sin is our heritage. But our inheritance through Jesus is a Kingdom of glory. We will get there. But not in this life. And so we need more and more grace to fill the space. We need to stop looking at the bar set for ourselves as if it will ever reach God’s level of perfection. But God’s love? We are soaked, if only we would realize it sooner than later. Ever flowing love comes to us like a raging river. Jesus filled that grace gap. We don’t need anything else.
Take the grace. Be filled with it. Let Him be enough. Then our response in living will be love poured out on others. Compassion. Humility in serving others. Not serving others a false picture of us. Some kind of place to reach for. Don’t reach for me or for what you think others have. Reach for God. I want to point others to Jesus. He is perfect. And His perfect love is sufficient for all of our needs. We need His love. We need His grace. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Not in our strength. I am finally getting it. It’s not about moving closer to perfection, but letting His perfection move in closer to me. My sin that I thought separated me from God? It’s exactly the space that fills up with grace. I am God’s beloved child. Nothing can separate me from that truth. And nothing I do makes Him love me any more or any less.
Lord, Help me live better with the thorns in my flesh. Help me to let the space for grace be as large as it needs to be and let me remember that it is the grace that links me to You. I am drawn in and tethered to You through Jesus. If the thorns are not removed, let them be covered by You. Your strength is made perfect in weakness and in my reliance on You. Teach me more about Your grace. When I am weak, I am strong in You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Jennifer,
Thank you so much for joining us today and sharing these glorious words from your heart. Such a beautiful and inspiring message you have written. I’m sure many will be moved by it. God Bless You!
Wow oh wow!!! Did I ever need to hear that!!! Thanks so much!!!
Jennifer, thank you SO much for sharing!!! I was incredibly blessed by what you wrote…no doubt inspired by the Spirit! God bless you, child of God. ??
You last few paragraphs are written as if you are saying that we are never guilty anymore. When we are saved (when we accept Jesus as our Messiah and Savior), we are forgiven of our past sins. We will still commit sin. We can receive forgiveness for them by repenting and asking for forgiveness. The shame and guilt has never been what condemns us. We have always been condemned by our actions because of not following God’s instructions (most call it ‘the law’ but that is completely wrong; the word translated as ‘law’ literally means ‘instruction’). Therefore, we must repent and ask for forgiveness. The shame and guilt is there to let us know that we have done something that goes against God’s instructions, and to lead us to repent for what we did and to ask His forgiveness. Oh, and let’s not forget that if we won’t forgive others for what they have done, God won’t forgive us either. Too many people and churches today are too busy taking things out of context and picking and choosing which ‘commandments’ (instructions) to follow – they don’t even keep the Big Ten – to take the time and read what Scripture really says, in the correct context. Can we stand guilty before God of breaking His commandments? Yes. But our salvation depends on belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of God, who died for my sins (and yours) and rose from the grave 3 days and nights later.
I am having a hard time getting rid of the guilt and for something I did it is eating me alive how do I get rid of it ?☹️
Satan can and will keep us bound in guilt if we let him. He is a liar and the father of all lies. But Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us of all of our sins 1 John 1:9. If you have truly confessed your guilt to God, He forgives. Satan of course, knows if we have a personality that we can’t let it go and he will throw it back in our faces, a verse that helps me is 2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Pray this verse to God. When a thought comes into your mind that is another link in the chain that Satan is using to bind you, say ” God take this thought captive ” you may have to say this several times, but trust God and believe, He will deliver you! No matter how big or small know He has made you an over comer through Him! John 16:33
I often feel guilty for not doing anything in church i feel like i am not contributing to his kingdom and that makes me feel despondent. I am a busy working mum but i still feel like I should be doing more anyone else dealing with that kind of guilt and how do you move forward.
Hi Jen and my sisters in Christ, I’m Rejane, from Brazil. I started this study some days ago and I’ve been so blessed by the words and the comments. For a long time I’ve suffered because of guilty (I am not a good mother, I don’t spend enough time with my kids, I am not good enough, I am not… I’ve learned these accusements are done by the evil, and they are lies. I’m not a flawless person, but I can get closer to God when I am fulfilled by His Grace. His unending Love is pouring on me when I read the Bible and meditate on His laws. I am untangled by His anointing and presence when I pray God. I’ve just learned that the thorns in my flesh are not for accusing me, but for showing me more reasons to abide in God. Thanks for this marvelous study!
I missed this study and was planning to go back and do it but cannot find the reading plan for week two. Where can I find it please?
Amen. The guilt is Gods way of convicting us and though Jesus’ blood washes away our sins, we need to first confess them with Godly sorrow.