I ran my third half marathon this past December. Let me be really honest with you all… I’m not one of those runners who ENJOYS running. It’s hard at times and can be oh, so painful. Some of my friends who train with me run faster than me, so at times I can get discouraged.
I get tired.
I wonder if the sacrifice is worth it.
But the affects of the run are what encourage me to go out time after time.
This race was different though…
A few days before, I caught a stomach bug… and not just any old stomach bug. Ohhh no, the worst one I had ever had. I will spare you all the gory details, but let’s just say I was REALLY sick.
But I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Ohhh no… I had paid to run in that race. I had made a commitment to run it, and I was going to follow through. So even though my body wasn’t 100% back to normal, I entered the race anyway…
And in mile 8 of 13.5, my body started rebelling.
But I wasn’t alone in my race. The friends who I had trained with were running right beside me. We trained as a team and so we raced as a team.
Our own little racing community.
And during my race I wanted to stop. I wanted to quit. But they wouldn’t let me. They stayed with me through the pain; through the exhausted legs that didn’t believe they could take another step.
I told them to run ahead of me.
I didn’t want to slow them down. To hold them back.
I made excuses.
But no matter what I said or how I pleaded – how I really wanted to run that race alone -they wouldn’t leave my side.
Then in mile 10 he showed up.
My husband, who had already run the race in his heat….came back for me to help me finish my race. Seriously, I’m not making this up!
And so I was passed from my friends to my husband…..always surrounded by someone who loved and cared for me along the way.
My community.
We ran the final 3.5 miles together, and it wasn’t pretty. And I wondered those last few miles why I do this to myself…
But along the journey, this amazing husband of mine told me stories to help take my mind off of the pain I was feeling and to distract me from my desire to quit.
I needed my friends and my husband to help me run that race. It wasn’t my best race. The journey was hard, but they helped me endure it. Step by step… they helped me finish the race.
Aren’t we all called to do that with those in our lives?
We are not made to do life alone.
Though you might not be a runner, we are all in a race…
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.“- Hebrews 12: 1-3
And we ALL need others in our lives to help us focus on the finish line…fixing our eyes on Jesus. We need encouragers to help us get through those hard times. We need friends who are willing to stay in the race with us even when we tell them to go on without us. We need to be honest in life and let friends and family know when we are hurting and wanting to quit. We need friends who are willing to journey with us….even when it’s not pretty.
When the test results come back and we have cancer…
When he files for divorce and wants out…
When our children are rebelling and we need a ray of hope…
We need each other.
We need community with God and with others.
We were made for it.
And though none of us are perfect…..two are better than one.
Oh friends, how we need to live this truth out in our lives. Let’s not let another day pass without compassionately reaching out to friends, family, co-workers, neighbors….women and men whom God has strategically placed in our everyday lives.
*Let’s Talk: What are some ways that we can help promote community in our everyday lives and bring glory to God in the process? What is holding you back from reaching out and participating more in the community God has placed you in? For those of you who are craving more community in your lives…what can other women do to help include you?
I can’t wait to hear your responses!
Love God Greatly!
You look AMAZING for not only running a half marathon but doing it while sick!!
Ha! Thanks Amber!:)
Beautiful story. There are times I wish I had that community of friends. Most times, I know that it’s best I don’t. I’d push them away. They would hurt me. My expectations would be crushed and I would again, be alone. Debbie downer here, but why continue to subject ourselves to the hurt when with God and ourselves there is not pain from others? I struggle in this area (obviously). 🙂
Ohhh Jodi! I feel your pain, sweet friend. I know we live in a broken world where friends hurt us and we are tempted to believe the lie that life would be better if lived alone….but God does call us to community. Now how community looks might be different for each of us. I’m not saying we have to have a large group of friends around us, but maybe for some people 2 or 3 friends that you can really invest in and feel safe around. I think also realizing that no friend is perfect and only Jesus can meet all our needs. Living in community we learn to forgive, extend grace and show love on a whole new level.
Taking time to pray over you this morning and THANK YOU so much for sharing your heart with us today!
Jodi,
I have been through those same feelings again and again. I am at the point where I recognized about myself that my expectations of these friendships were past what they could give me. I wanted them to be my end all and be all and when stuff happened that in my eyes I viewed as them disappointing me it hurt me deeply. I wanted them to be Jesus. Once I realized that and could let Jesus be my number one, I was able to get close to women again without feeling hurt and rejected. I don’t know if that helps but I pray you find a couple ladies to bond with.
Candice,
Thank you for sharing about ‘wanting your friends to Jesus’. Oh my dear how many times do we all fall into that trap. Be there! I love hearing are now able to get close to women again without feeling hurt and rejected because Jesus us #1!
Martha
I’ll be honest. I struggle with community…as does every Pastor’s wife I know and work with. It is hard for me to trust and build genuine friendships when I have been told time and again “no, we don’t want to hear your struggles…you can’t have problems….you are supposed to be there for us”. So I go the things I need to attend, but avoid any actual fellowship. I smile and pray over other ladies and their issues. I hand tissues as they pour out their hearts and know they don’t really want to know me. They want to know what I can provide. I’m sorry if I sound jaded, but in 5 churches, this has happened over and over. I am “friends” with the lead pastor’s wife at our church now (husband is associate pastor and I am children’s director). She also admits that she doesn’t trust anyone. We try, but struggle getting close to each other and that is okay. We understand where the other is coming from and know this is the best we can give at this time.
Hi Bethany!
I can relate 100%. I am not a Pastor’s wife but a Pastor’s daughter and my family and I too struggle with trust and letting people in. This is something I am praying and working on…not to build my wall back up but to love people while continuing to guard my heart and discernment :).
I agree about the wall. I do share in the blame of the lack of relationships. It becomes too painful to keep trying.
Bethany, my heart breaks as I read your comment. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I commit today to be praying for you and for meaningful and deep connections with other women in your church.
I’m feeling the hug. 🙂 Thank you! And thank you for your prayers!
HUGGING you Bethany! Praying for you!
Martha
Hi Bethany,
I am not a pastor’s wife either. But I cannot believe that this stuff is happening in our church! We need to be there for everyone, ESPECIALLY the leadership! I am so sorry you’ve had those responses. I pray God gives you a community too, one who won’t let you just attend events, but actually hunt your heart down.
We are very blessed to serve with a Pastor (and family) that we truly love and we are able to share our hurts with. We are very supportive of each other,but have “been taught” that it is pointless to look for it outside of our relationship.
Thank you for hearing my heart. Recently I had a church member talk with me about why our family and our lead Pastor’s family don’t get invited to things. (There is ALOT of fellowshipping going on at our church.) I was happy they felt comfortable to share, but so sad at the reason given. We cramp their style basically. We are respected. We are loved. We speak truth in love and do not judge, but they are still afraid that if they have us over, we will disapprove of their speech, drinking, choice of movies, etc. They don’t want to have to be “churchy” outside of church. They are happy to come to our house, though, when we host. So I do my ministry well…serve my church and don’t count on the people around me.
Ahhh Bethany….this so hurts my heart to read. Thank YOU so much for opening up and sharing your heart with us. My how your words have made me want to reach out to my pastor’s wife and other wives whose husbands are in leadership within my church today. We all need safe friends to turn to. We all need acceptance and room for grace. No one is perfect and it’s so hard to live well when you feel like you have to be perfect….that’s a lot of pressure. Praying over you and the other pastor wives today who have commented…so very thankful for your openness…I know your comment has made a difference. Praying for you, sweet friend!
It is hard to type it without it sounding like it comes from a place of bitterness rather than acceptance that this is what my season is. This site has been a blessing to me as I have been able to join in with online groups for each study. It does not take the place of face to face community, but it certainly is a start and helps me not keep my wall so very high. 🙂 Thank you for the sweet words. God is good!
Bethany, you took the words out if my heart. This feeling is far too common among pastor’s/preacher’s wives. It’s like it would be inappropriate to express our struggles…and yet they eat away at us from the inside. Angela, I encourage you to reach out to your pastor’s wife like you mentioned-she may not open up at first but I assure you, it would make a difference. Thank you, friends, who’ve said you’re praying for pastor’s wives-I like to think I benefit under that category☺. Like Bethany, these studies and posts/comments have been a life-line where I can just be me and not the (asst.) “pastor’s wife”. THANK YOU, LGG, for your commitment!
I´ll be praying for you too Kerri, for every pastor´s wife who might be struggling right now 🙂 Hugs!!
Lifting you up in prayers as well Kerri! Hugs!!!
it would be great to get more involved I. Our community. So many things need change in a Godly manner. I was just thinking how this year I decided to not help out with our PTO and I constantly am thinking how I could have helped out more.
I want to get involved and help just do not want overwhelm myself, which I tend to do. I am going to be praying that the Lord will place me right where He may want me.
Ahhh that’s great, Cynthia! I’ll pray that for you today as well!:)
Awesome, Cynthia! My recommendation is just start doing something! You’ll find where you fit. And learn the power of “no”-it’s not a bad word and it’ll help you not get overwhelmed. Have fun!
With headphones in and listening to “Held” by Natalie Grant, I was reading this and the moment I got to “he showed up,” I wanted to ball crying!! This is such a beautiful picture of community!!! What wonderful friends and husband. And to answer the question, my spiritual gift is encouragement, but I want to be so much better at it for the sake of community and unity. So that means surrendering myself more and more to The Lord for opportunity and direction.
I also want that for myself from others. The thing I think is important to remember is sometimes we have to actually be the ones to reach out and ask for help or encouragement. We can’t assume others know we need it….it’s not always so obvious as struggling in a race! But it’s hard to ask sometimes for so many different reasons. Or not even just asking for help, but even just reaching out for fellowship when I know it would be good for me. 🙂
I loved this story! Such a great picture to keep in my mind!!
Crystal,
I’ve just recently begun to realize how extremely important the gift of encouragement truly is to the Body of Christ! There are so many verses in the Bible where God calls us to encourage each other….we ALL need it! Ahhh I LOVE hearing about your desire to encourage women in your life!!!! And yes, reaching out and letting others know when you need encouragement is sooo important too! I believe we all have people in our lives who want to help, they just don’t always know how. Just love your heart!!! Thanks so much for sharing today!
Oh Angela, what I beautiful and inspiring picture of community! Thanks for sharing this story. Running alongside you my friend!! Love and prayers 🙂
Ahhh you are such a blessing to me, Edurne!!! You inspire me and encourage me to run this ministry “race” well…..so very, very thankful for you!!!!! Love you dearly!!
I am also a runner, and yes, there are times I don’t enjoy it, but mostly I love it. You look amazing for having run a marathon while sick! I’m in training for my first Half Marathon. I am blessed to also have a large community of believers around me. Even runners. You’re blessed for sure!
Ohh so happy and excited for you, Amy! You’ll do GREAT!:) And yes, it is such a blessing to have dear friends to “run” through life with! 🙂
This story really touched me and got me thinking of the battle I am currently facing. I have made the decision to quit smoking. When I let everyone know the path I am turning on, I had an out reach of support. I am one who thinks that many do not care for me, oh how I was proven wrong. We live in a community and really need to open our eyes more and let God lead us
And I think it’s so important to let people know where you’re needing help or encouragement. No one is a mind reader and sometimes we need to open ourselves up a little more, with discernment of course, and let friends around us know how to be praying and supporting us…..when we open that door I believe they will as well and then we will begin to truly be the Body of Christ and help each other through prayer and support.
Thank you so much for sharing today and I’m so happy to hear about the support you are getting from your friends in your life! Just beautiful, Angi!:)
Angela, I am also a runner. So at mile 10 I can totally relate. (However, on a much smaller scale. Marathons are not for me.
Ohh it was only a half marathon, sweet friend.:) I don’t think I could run a full marathon either….ha!:)
Re:community I would enjoy a small women’s prayer group or weekly bible study. Unfortunately in very small towns it’s difficult.
Ahhh praying for you with this today, Jan! Maybe just pray about starting a small group….it could just be 2 or 3 other women and see if they would like to meet for prayer or Bible study….sometimes women just need the invitation. 🙂 Praying for God to bring the right women into your life!!!!:) Thanks so much for sharing today!
Thank you for sharing. ..I recently separated from my partner of 21 years. …God has placed so many friends, co workers …my family. ..to help me out their support, encouraging words. ..I feel lost at times but my friends, family, and God have been here for me…My kids are also being so supportive…reading your story opened up my eyes that all these people has placed on my life right is my community. ..
Oh Jackie, I’m so sorry for your pain but so very thankful for the community of friends God has purposefully placed in your life right now to help you get through this separation. God has a plan, sweet friend! Keep clinging to Him and reading His Word!!!! Praying for you tonight!!! 🙂
I was talking to a cashier once who told me, “People need to remember, this is not who I am, this is what I do.” I think we get so caught up in our schedules or even fears of reaching out, that we miss little moments to feel connected even to the lady ringing up our groceries. In the break room at my seasonal job, most employees look at their phones so I do my best to engage and I’ve noticed that those who “catch my bait” will purposely sit next to me at breaks just to chat and it’s always uplifting and more refreshing to return to work even if it was just 15 minutes of chatting.
Ohh Angeline…..what a BEAUTIFUL way to love and make a difference in the lives of the people you work with!!!! GREAT JOB!!!! 🙂
I struggle with community A LOT. It is hard for me to open up to others. I am not comfortable because I have to put on a smiling face and go forward keeping my real life to myself. I live with a very abusive husband. We’ve been married for 38 years and our family is all grown and gone on their own. He is not physically abusive anymore, he really is getting too old for that and now he is more mentally and emotionally abusive. The few times over the years that I was honest with anyone about my situation, I get the same two answers. First one, leave right now, walk away from everything and go. Second one, stay no matter what and keep praying, this is God’s will for you. Ok, well, I’m tired now, and neither of those answers have felt right to me. I could go on and on about this situation, but won’t. I just find it best to continue to go into the world with a smile on my face and do what I can to help others and then keep people at a distance. I would help more but that would be too risky. I have to walk the thin line of balancing keeping my husband peaceful and trying to serve like my heart wants to. My husband is not a believer. He used to be a pastor for a time and was the most religious, spiritual man I had ever met. That’s why I married him. I thought he was a godly man and answer to my prayers. Final thought, I just think we should all take a look at others and give them the benefit of doubt when we don’t think they are involved enough or friendly enough. There might be very good reason for them to keep a distance.
Casey ~ I want you to know that I read your comment, felt that I could empathize with some of what you shared and am praying with you for God to turn around your marriage. Though I have never been physically abused in my marriage, I have felt emotionally abused at times and realize that without even being purposeful about it, I have been emotionally abusive towards my husband as well. Marriage and relationships are SO complex!! My husband and I will have been married 38 years next month. I do believe that you can work on your part of the marriage relationship with God’s help and much prayer & that begins a process in your marriage that facilitates changes toward the loving relationship you desire. You may have already tried counseling, but I found that counseling with a Christian counselor who shares your goal of keeping your marriage together has been helpful. If you would like to stay in touch to pray for and support each other in our marriages, I’d love to hear from you at [email protected].
Kathy,
Thank you for sharing as well and offering your email to stay in touch and support each other. Ooh such a blessing!
Although my abusive marriage ended in divorce, it was when I was living in a shelter for abused women I was introduce to a Christian counselor and that opened the door for me. I needed a lot of work on myself. I found peace and learned to trust others again… it took a long time.
Praying for you and Casey! Thank you for being here in our little community and sharing!
Martha
Casey,
Thank you for sharing, I know it was not easy. I lived in an abusive marriage for 11 years. I do know about ‘putting a smile on my face and not letting others see the pain’. I tried not to share anything that happened at home with others. After a while I couldn’t – because others could see my nervousness and bruises.
It took me years to share about that part of my life. I finally divorced because things were getting far worse in our relationship. It wasn’t easy – ended up living in a shelter for abused women and that helped me a great deal to find peace and the encouragement I need to start over with my child.
I pray peace for you and that you can connect with someone so that you can share your ‘real’ life with them, to have support, a listening ear and encouragement.
Thank you again for sharing your heart here today! Martha
I am praying for that special friend within my church family that I can be accountable to. I have had these kind of friends before and my life has grown so much. I so believe in the local church family and yet, I do not have that one person that I pray with and am accountable to.
Shirley,
Lifting you up in prayer for that special friend within in your church family with whom you can pray with and be accountable. Thank you for being here and sharing with us today!
Blessings,
Martha, LGG Encourager
Thank you, Bethany, for sharing your story. My husband and I have been attending a church for 6yrs now and I have no one to fellowship with. My husband is in leadership and I work hard to make sure that my action glorify God and the harder I try to be a submissive wife and give encouraging word to sister the more I feel excluded from sisters at church. Our lifestyle will make others uncomfortable but that should assures us that we are in the right path. We need friends outside of our church who have common ground for support when we need it most.
This study has made me realize that I need a friend and I need to stop building walls around me.
Liv,
We are so glad you are here with us in our little ‘community’. When we moved to our new church, I found it difficult to fit in. I was involved in several areas of ministry along with my husband but the ‘closeness’ I needed was not there. And for me, it became a challenge to serve. I’m blessed with a couple close friendships from childhood that helped me a great deal. I pray that you find the support your need and that you can lower your walls. Thank you so much for sharing!
Martha, LGG Encourager
These scriptures were used in our wedding ceremony, but sadly my marriage has recently crumbled. As I struggle to accept this new reality, I am encouraged that these verses are still just as true today. When I feel alone and abandoned, God reminds me of family or friends that are by my side, even holding me up some days. And when it gets really bleak, God uses all kinds of ways to tell me that He will NEVER leave me. Doesn’t make me cry any less, but somehow, He offers rays of Hope in the midst of it.
Ellen,
I’m very sorry to hear about your marriage but I’m so glad to hear you still find encouragement in these verses. Sounds like God has surrounded you with a great ‘community’ to encourage, hold you up and love on you during this very difficult time. I’ve been divorced and I remarried in my 40’s, never saw that one coming but God did.
Lifting you and your entire situation up in prayer for strength and peace.
Blessings,
Martha, LGG Encourager
Being in community is truly viable to me. I love people and one of my gifts is encouraging as well. As I read your story I became emotional because I have always wanted to do that for my friends, be there for them. I pray daily with a wonderful group of women that I believe God has placed in my life and for now these ladies are a vital part of my community. It is hard having real genuine relationships with women truly and I thank God daily for them. Letting others in your heart can be dangerous if we don’t allow God to chose our friends for us. Thank you LGG, this is a tremendous Bible Study. Ladies let God chose your community, you will be blessed.
Regina,
Thank you for taking the time to be here with us in our little ‘blog comment community’. I love love how you said, ‘Letting others in your heart can be dangerous if we don’t allow God to chose our friends for us.’ – Wow eye opening! Thank you for blessing us today with sharing your heart.
Martha, LGG Encourager
My community right now is where I work. We are a Christian based chiropractic office. We have one male and six female employees. If one hurts we all hurt. We pray together each morning and hold each up during struggles of life. Most of us have worked together 20 odd years. We have been through a lot together. Now we have some younger ladies working with us. It has been a blessing watching them look forward to the day with prayer and growing with our community of love. Pray for us to always care for others. Not so much professionally, but spiritually. Our goal Core Values are To honor Christ in all our buiness practices and professional relationships. Demonstrate love to co-workers, patients, vendors, and community by “going the extra mile,”realizing that to the degree I help others, I, too, will be helped. We end our day by telling each other I love you and give a big hug.
I love this bible study as well as all the others. In my prayers.
Hilda,
So many people don’t have a ‘workplace’ like yours, such a blessing. Your note gave me chills (in a great way) – I get them when I see God’s plans at work. I loved loved loved hearing about how you and the other employees show Christ to each other and to everyone you come in contact with. Beautiful!
Thanks again.
Martha, LGG Encourager
WOW! I didn’t know places like that existed in 2015! What a beautiful testimony you have that Jesus is ALIVE today, and how blessed you are to go to work each day! While my work environment may be far from that, I pray that I can see how blessed I am to be right where the Lord wants me!
Thank you so much for sharing! It lifted my heart today 🙂
Oh my sweet Jesus… “When he files for divorce and wants out…” Stopped me in my tracks Angela. This was me last year. And my community – a new church family that gave to me though I had nothing to give back at the time – lifted me up. They held me accountable, loved me, prayed over me and with me and were there. Like I had never known.
Nicole,
<3 Thank you so much for sharing how your 'community' help and how they held you up. Oh how you have blessed me and others today in sharing!
Blessings,
Martha
Ohh sweet Nicole! So very sorry you had to walk through that but so thankful you had an amazing community of friends to help you through it so you didn’t have to walk it alone.:) Just LOVE how God uses the Body of Christ to encourage us, support us and help us get through tough times in our lives.
Over the years, I’ve realized that it takes effort to develop and nurture relationships. Effort to give when you are able, and to receive when someone offers their help or encouragement, all the while knowing that none of us are perfect – or mind readers. Look around and listen with the eyes and ears of Jesus. It won’t take long to find someone who needs you – and you, them. Love wins everytime.
Tania, Thank you for sharing wise words.
Blessings, Amy A (LGG Encourager)
Tania,
That was so beautiful! Thank you for posting such wise words. Love is a risk, but it’s SOOO worth it!
A while ago I forwarded one of the LGG emails to my MIL. I can’t even remember what the topic was then. But the other day she said she wanted to subscribe and follow the reading plan. This post about two are better than one was very timely, really touching for her and she read it to Dad as well. We live in Shanghai, China, and while they were visiting us eight weeks ago my FIL’s leg got infected and wasn’t treated properly by the doctors here. He was medically evacuated to Hong Kong where he went through emergency surgery followed by a skin graft and long recovery time. Mom has been caring for Dad this whole time. She spends several hours a day waiting for or riding the mini-bus and double decker bus back and forth from the hospital to take food to dad. (The hospital food is terrible, esp after 8 weeks of it!) She said she feels like she’s been pulling him along, carrying this weight for a long time. But she knows when he’s better he’ll be able to pull her up when she needs it. So thankful for Father’s strength, too, through this whole ordeal. He has been faithful to provide!
Julie,
Wow, thank you for sharing about your MIL and FIL, and for sharing your LGG emails with her. Lifting your FIL and MIL up in prayer for continued healing and strength as she travels back and forth.
Blessings,
Martha
Angela:
I teared up reading your story, thank you.
I am embarrassed to admit that I struggle maintaining community with others. So many, many times I feel I was not born with the grace of attracting/keeping others around. I am aware of my flaws and I work at changing those, but at the end I find myself looking around and nobody is really there. When this study started, I became so happy because I need this. I pray and talk to God about it and I console myself knowing that He is always there.
Thank you
Tatiana,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing with us today. It’s not easy to share our struggles, flaws, failures etc. But, although we are on the other side of this little box called a computer, we are community, sisters through Christ and we ALL have flaws. So thankful that god is with us and never leaves us. I am praying that God will lead you to a community right there where you are, to love you (flaws and all) and that you are open to sharing with them. I’m sure there are those around you that are thinking… man I’d love to be friends with Tatiana but I’m so flawed.
Blessings,
Martha
Martha:
Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers.
Tatiana,
Continued prayers!!!