True community. We all crave it, but it can be so difficult to find, can’t it?!
We sat on wooden benches creaking under our weight. The music blaring next door ringing in our ears. Several different languages spoken all under one roof with names like Luganda and Acholi. One translator for all of us.
I sat on the floor, dusty with red dirt, in my sweet spot, with the kids.
It started as a Christmas gift to my friend Chaundra, who dreamed up a space where we could meet as families of kids with special needs. She decided to build community and invited me to join in, and here we are, month by month, meeting together.
A foot brace squeaks and creaks as we play. My little boy, Giftie, finding his spot in the group, a place to belong for a boy who is deaf and has cerebral palsy.
We gathered. We weren’t sure what exactly it was going to look like, we just knew that we wanted a safe place, a place for the people to come and be filled, encouraged.
The Ugandan pastor and his church body showed us the way. The way to love, give, serve and build community. These saints traveled on foot to tell each of the families about our gathering, since most had no phone. They lovingly cooked the food and made sure each family had transportation money.
Humbled by the turnout, I nervously bit my lip and wondered if everyone was disappointed.
We brought a speech therapist, nurses, a prayer warrior, and us fellow mamas to special needs kids to encourage.
One family, with their sweet son, traveled by bus 8 hours just to be a part of the group. I felt bad.
You came all this way for this? We don’t have much.
A meal and some encouragement was our simple offering, and still they came.
One girl with hydrocephalis, many with cerebral palsy, children with burns, austim, deaf, mute.
All are welcome to our gathering. We are in this together.
Come, sit. Belong.
Let’s eat together, share stories, and come away refreshed for the difficult weeks ahead.
I leaned over to our friend, a Ugandan nurse. I told her I felt bad and she looked at me, confused.
“Why?”
I explained we didn’t have much to offer, much for them to do or take away.
Still confused, she spoke true, “These people are just happy to find a community,to belong, and see other people walking their same road. This gives them hope.“
Hope and Community.
Long after I figured it was time to go, they lingered. Not saying much, simply sitting and enjoying.
To be with all the others. To know you aren’t alone. To look around and see your people. That is enough.
How many times when offering something, hospitality, friendship, do I think I have to clean it up, prettify it, offer something spectacular, when all I need to offer is community?
To sit, in the dirty, dusty, mess of it all and offer the hope of knowing we are in this together?
“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, …” Acts 2:42-47 ESV
It is what we all crave. To belong. To be seen. To be understood.
I hear from a lot of women, wishing they had community.
My best advice? Create it. Find those who need a friend, who need to belong, and give them the gift of community with you.
Who in your life needs the gift of community, the gift of hope today?
Reach out to them. Text them, call them, invite them.
Give them the gift of hope and community.
In the comments: What does community look like for you? How have you struggled to find true community?
With Love From Uganda,
photos courtesy of Dave Forney. All subjects photos taken and used with permission.
for me sharing life in my daily routine is very important. in a very difficult and sad time of my life that was the best thing my friends and other people gave to me. i could be there in there normal daily day, helped or only sit there – that was very good for me. not be alone, part of a family in a very special way. so i want to have my door open for the women around me, sharing life, laugh together and cry together, pray together (when they want) and be together!
Kerstin, I think you said it exactly! I don’t need large gatherings or fancy arenas (those aren’t terrible – just not what I need). How blessed we are with friends who will sit in a living room that hasn’t been vacuumed or do the dishes for us because we simply don’t have the strength! Thank you for stopping by & sharing.
Blessings, Amy A (LGG Encourager)
This study on community has had such an huge impact on my life. Today’s blog was beautiful! Thank you Joy for leaving your heart spill out through your words. I hung on these two quotes from you… “To sit, in the dirty, dusty, mess of it all and offer the hope of knowing we are all in this together” and “It is what we all crave. To belong. To be seen. To be understood”. This has been my heart for the past year….woman coming together and getting in the mud of life with one another and truly seeing our sisters set free, overcome and find hope and obtain victory. It burns in me to be real with one another, be valnurable and take a risk to truly “know” others. Let them see my mess, let them in to the hard places in my life so that I can draw strength from them in my times of weakness and struggle and be that same thing for others. We do crave to be known and know others care or have been where we are. I believe woman overcome together because we are stronger. He didn’t create us to walk alone, He said walk along side one another, stirring, provoking and encouraging each to keep running their race and to never give up. I have struggled to find community because I feel as woman we fear exposing ourselves or looking imperfect or like we have failed. But what I see in my heart is a group of woman who can come together, completely naked as we were in the garden, all that we are, all that we go through just seen and been surrounded by woman of like mind, who love the Lord, trust Him, want to live for Him, who will stand together and see each other through whatever life throws at them. This desire is what led me to LGG and it is so wonderful to be a part of a real community if woman. Thank you all!
Wow Sheila… I thought I cried it all with Joy´s post… but I´m in tears with your comment too!!! I like to think about LGG as a big family. We all have flaws, we all make mistakes… but we all love each other and give grace to each other. And that is what allows us to grow together 🙂 Hugs!
Sheila,
Thank you so very much for your comment! I agree, we do fear exposing ourselves and to be honest women are pretty hard on other women. So glad to found LGG!!! We are blessed!
Martha, LGG Encourager
Oh Joy… still in tears after reading your post. I needed to come to the jungle to realize the power of sharing myself. People don´t need things or big celebrations. People need people. A hand, a hug, a prayer, a smile, your time, your heart… that´s making community. Thank you, thank you for sharing this with us today!! 🙂
Edurne,
Thank you for sharing here today as well Edurne.. yes people NEED people!!
Much Love,
Martha
It saddens me that we all have this need; a need to belong, to be heard, to be cared for, to be truly known, to be loved and to love, and yet, there’s never enough time! It sounds so easy to say just reach out and invite people, or just meet together and hang out-nothing fancy. But in the midst of husbands, housework, kids with homework, sports, afterschool activities, work, etc. there never seems to be any time. Everyone is so busy, including myself, that it’s very difficult to have that time of fellowship and encouragement. Yet, that is when we need it most!
Amen to that Mistie! I could have written those exact words. Thank you for stopping by today! Praising Him with you friend!
Blessings, Marlene {LGG Encourager}
This post was such a good reminder to me that we are all created with this deep desire and need for belonging. Am I doing a good job of feeding that desire by accepting invitations, and investing in community opportunities? Am I fulfilling God’s desire for me to make those around me feel like they belong as well? Am I hospitable? Do I encourage them to take part in their community as well? Do I take care to not “oppress” them in some way, whether by commission or omission, that discourages them from wanting to take part in the community that God has placed in front of them? Alot to to think about today…
Yes, very thought provoking Suzy, I agree! Thanks so much for being a part of this community! Blessings, Marlene {LGG Encourager}
Thank you for sharing this. I am struggling with finding this here (I moved here a year ago from my lifetime hometown). Life is so segmented (and gets more so as your kids get older). It’s hard to find common ground with one person, much less many. And in the areas I have found it doesn’t seem to reach beyond that one ‘meeting’ time, etc. My friend from back home posted this online and I needed it.
Oh DL, that sounds rough. I’ve been in that position before and it’s not easy at all. Praying for you sweet friend! Thankful you were blessed by this post today! Blessings, Marlene {LGG Encourager}
Hello. I didn’t know anything like this existed. Just browsing,planning my readings for Easter I came upon LLG. I must say I enjoy the reading and everyone’s comments. I must say that I thought I was the only person who used to feel like I was all Zalone but when I gave my life to live for the Lord I no longer feel alone. Although there are times when I feel that I’m carrying some heavy burdens I just pray and for I know that I’m not alone. I look forward to learning more about this community and meeting some of the women in the community. God bless
Arniessie, we’re so thankful you found us! Welcome! 🙂 Thank you for stopping by!
Blessings, Marlene {LGG Encourager}
Joy, this was beautiful. I am touched deeply by this study. I thought I would be embarrassed to say I feel alone, and don’t feel part of community, but am humbled to know we all struggle with it to some degree. I’m married and have 3 awesome kids (all away at college), and feel completely blessed, yet I feel alone, I don’t have any lifelong friends other than my husband. We moved a lot when the kids were little because I married into the military. My best friend lives in another state, and other friends have children much younger and are in a different season of their lives. They are too busy to get together, which I totally understand. I’m a quiet person and always had a hard time making friends. So I long for that community. I found a church I love (but my husband doesn’t want to go to), and try to get involved with things there, like signing up to go on a mission trip, or help at community outreaches. I pray and believe God has me where I need to be right now, part of this LGG community. I need this, I need to be able to pour my heart out and know I’m not alone. Thank you for including me. God Bless!
Francine, God is faithful to give us community when we seek it even if it is with women around the world. So glad you are part of the LGG family!
Blessings, Amy A (LGG Encourager)
Joy, Thank you so much for today’s post. As a massage therapist for special needs children and young adults, I see the precious mom’s just pressing on through all kinds of trials, sleepless nights from worry or simply a child who can’t sleep and can’t articulate why. How true it is that we all need a place in “community” of only for a brief time once in a while, and especially having “community” that looks a bit different. I wanted to just jump through the pictures and hug each and every mom and child in those wonderful photos. Thank you again. Today I will hug my little group of mommies just a few moments longer…
Rose, Bless you for your ministry through touch. So glad you were encouraged today!
Blessings, Amy A (LGG Encourager)