I spent a few days earlier this week having a little pity party for myself. Yes, I know what you are thinking. I’m not under ten years old, and this is not appropriate behavior for a grown woman, let alone a missionary. But there it is.
The story is this: I was invited to a fun gathering of women that met last week in the States, but as I live in Uganda, I couldn’t make it. Seeing the photos of everyone attending and wishing I could be there… well, a little pity party started. Then I started thinking about my sister having her baby in the next few weeks. It’s her fourth, and I’ve not been there for even one of the births. Sigh. Don’t forget, of course, we’ll be missing out on yet another Thanksgiving and Christmas with family this year (yes, I’m aware it’s only July, but pity parties aren’t limited by the calendar).
And because misery loves company, I wrote a little snippet on Facebook about how I was sad about all of this, thereby extending said pity party not only in my head and heart, but around the world.
And one comment on that post really brought me back to reality. Randy Alcorn, author of  the book Heaven, wrote this on my sorry little post:
“You sound like Paul: “Remembering your tears, I long to see you that I may be full of joy” (2 Tim 1:4). You are in good company missing loved ones! The great reunion awaits, all together with the Lord:
“Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.” 1 Thes 4:17-18.
Thanks for joining Paul in bringing the gospel to the nations on our behalf. Some reward comes now, much will come later. Meanwhile He feels your pain.”
Ah yes, sweet perspective.
It brought me back to truth that my heart needed to hear and reminded me of two things:
1. Our memory verse for this week:Â
This. His righteousness is FOREVER. Forever. The part I was sorely missing in my self-imposed sadness. His righteousness really is forever, and we will be with Him forever. What a promise!
And His law is TRUE. His words are the words of a gentlemen, and they are true. I can cling to His word, his promises, his faithfulness when I am feeling down, lonely, and sad.
2. He has given us each other to remind us of this.Â
Clearly, I needed Randy and others to bring me back to the truth, and that is why I love this community here at Love God Greatly so much. We are here to encourage one another in our walks with the Lord. We are here to spur one another on, and to remind each other of His righteousness and His Word.
So, thank you.
Thank you for being my community; for walking this road with me. Let’s commit to pick each other up when we stumble and fall, and point each other back to Forever and Truth.
Let’s continue to encourage each other in the comments. Share your struggles and find someone else to remind of both forever and truth!!
With Love From Uganda,
Thank you for sharing these words, Joy. I, too, had many of those kinds of pity parties as a missionary in Central Asia and, in fact, those pity parties tend to continue now that we’re “home”, but my heart is still on the mission field. One thing I learned recently is that we can certainly bring those feelings of sadness to the Lord, He already knows anyway. My longings are part of who I am and reconciling with my life as it is now doesn’t mean I should wish for those longings to go away, but that I should accept that they are in my life and they’re part of who I am now, after many years on the mission field. Longing for loved ones far away is a sign that you love well. God can handle those pity parties and bring us back to His perspective! 🙂
Thirza,
What beautiful and encouraging words you have shared today in your comments! Joy has such a transparent and open heart and words like yours are needed to uplift and encourage her and all those who are on the mission field. Thank you for your sacrificial service, and thanks for joining us here for this wonderful study!
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Thirza,
I love these words and your thoughts. Thank you for sharing and encouraging me and others today!
This was so encouraging for me! We’ve been off the field now for a little over a year and my heart still longs to be back with those overseas. My heart needed to hear this today, thank you.
Dear Thirza,
I’m doing this study in 2020. I just saw your comment. My parents were missionaries in Turkmenistan, before they were kicked out in 2000 and also in Azerbaijan. They adopted 2 children from there. Just thought it was neat that you ministered in central Asia.
Good morning Joy,
What a blessing your writing brought to my heart! I too was having a bit of a pity party this morning, one concerning the participation of our wonderful little group. And I realized that I do not walk in their shoes, and I do not know what all may be on their plates and it is and would be very wrong for me to judge them on not participating more….therefore pray as best as I can for each of these wonderful women who are participating, at what ever level works best for them. Thank you for listening, Rebecca
Rebecca,
Thank you so much for your service as an LGG facilitator! It can be discouraging at times in any ministry, but there is great reward as well. Oftentimes, when things are quiet, the Lord is making the biggest moves in hearts and minds. Thank you for your faithfulness to serve despite the results. We join you in prayer for your group (and all of the LGG groups) trusting God for the increase and transformation in the lives of the women…even when we can’t see it immediately. Stay encouraged! <3
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Joy darling, you just wrote my heart. Am very very good at pity parties. I just had one now: my phone slipped from my hands and the screen broke and I even made the stupid mistake of asking God why? But God made me look around at friends and family and I just met someone new and His joy filled me. He taught me now that my joy ain’t tied to anything but Him. Then I read your write up and am encouraged. So God bless you Joy and bless my beautiful community LGG.
Ebos,
I’m sorry that your dropped your phone and shattered the screen but I am thankful that during this time you were able to see God and the blessings He has given you. I love that our joy is not of this world but tiesd to our Hevenly Father thank you for that reminder. (Jennifer, LGG Encourager)
Ah, the pity parties, I am a master. Thank God I have a friend so filled with Godly drive love, she is my mentor. I send her emails through my tears and she reminds me of God’s eternal promises. I have my moments when I can tell others truthfully that I would not change my journey with illness for anything as it is helping me to understand what means to draw strength and peace from God despite my worldly circumstances, but I certainly have my on my knees sobbing moments of pure confusion over my affliction asking why. In those moments I cry out to God and reminds me of , Psalm 62:1-2, Thes :5:16, Romans 15:13, and Deut 31:6, I need only listen and trust! It helps me to repeat those verses over and over in those pity party moments. God bless you for your sacrifices!
Kim,
Thank you for sharing all of those verses filled with God’s promises. They are definitely what we need to be reminded of in times of sadness, despair, and confusion. We will be praying for you as you endure your illness. Thank you for sharing your experience and beautifully verbalizing what it means to press into the Lord despite pain, affliction, and suffering. Blessings to you and your spiritual sister.
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Yes, what you have written sounds so familiar. It speakS volumes to my heart even after being off the forgein field for a year. We were missionaries in Spain for 14 years. I still am having these pity parties at times. I want to settle down and have a permanent home. How that verse just cuts to my heart. This World isn’t my home and I will have a permanent home forever. Thank you for sharing and we’ll written. Big hugs.
Dear Dani, Asturias will definitely miss you!! Praying for you and your family 🙂
Awww thank you Edurne. How special to hear from you personally. God is good and we know He has a plan for us.
Dani,
Thank you so much for your sacrificial service and for the reminder that we should carry the things of this world with open palms and not clenched fists. Praying for your peace during this transition and in this new season of ministry!
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Thank you for sharing your heart! I’ve been having my own pity party the last few days after finding out I have to go back on chemotherapy. His word is truth and I praise Him even through the fire!
Praying for you and yours, Lynn.
Lynn,
We will be praying for you and your family as you go through this very challenging trial. We pray for your strength, endurance, and stamina. We also pray that you will be a living testimony to all who witness you go through this of God’s power, presence, and peace. Blessings to you and your family!
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Lynn,
I am praying for God’s comfort and peace during this difficult time. I pray that you are able to give God all the glory and that all though you are going through this difficult time, that others see Christ in your life. I love you sister and will continue to pray for you. (Jennifer, LGG Encourager)
I too can have pity parties! Usually when I get to comparing myself to others or focusing on all of ‘my faults,’. Can be so hard in myself. Well I am trying to learn to be more grateful and proactive. Grateful bc God has given us so much. We don’t have all of our wants but always have all our needs met. Proactive bc things won’t change if I don’t take steps. God isn’t going to magically clean my house and make us organized. I have to take steps to change and I am praying for God to guide those steps. God isn’t going to magically expand our budget if we aren’t managing well what we current have. So again taking steps to get a workable budget and record keeping system in place. I am learning that God directs steps but we have to make the effort to take them. God blesses as we are obedient. And above all else God wants us to be grateful.
Lauren,
None of us are alone. I, too, can have pity parties. You are so right that God desires for us to be thankful, to have an attitude of gratitude. A grateful heart allows us to see God’s Hand at work in our lives, no matter where we are or what our circumstances may be. Thank you for sharing your words here – pointing to the truth that God directs our steps, and that He wants us to step out in faith and serve Him! God works in powerful ways through our small acts of obedience. And He is glorified when we share our stories with one another in love. Have a blessed day!
~ Jean, LGG Encourager
Thank you so much for sharing this today. I’ve been struggling with my own pity party of sorts…but feeling like a flip-flopping Christian because I should have it “together” enough and be strong enough not to be bogged down by the occasional party. It is hard being away from loved ones and I learned this very week that it’s something that isn’t EXPECTED but must be ACCEPTED. http://itcrossedmymind.blogspot.com/2015/07/not-expectedbut-accepted.html God showed me this…now to learn how to walk those ropes. Lord, help me.
Thanks for sharing. God always has the perfect plan…just may not be what we were expecting. I’m glad we’re not alone in our parties…and that God brings people into our lives who can help bring us back around and comfort us along the way. Blessings~
Steffanie,
I thank God that as Ephesians 1:6 says…through His grace, we are accepted in His beloved, Christ Jesus. Even when believers in Christ flip-flop, we are accepted in Christ Jesus…even when we are drowning in pity, we are accepted in Christ Jesus…even as we walk the tight rope of surrender and absolute trust in God, we are accepted in Christ Jesus. Thank you for transparency and willingness to share your heart!
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
All I can say is what a beautiful message of truth. Oh how I can relate to that. Thank you! May you truly and forever enjoy your mission journey in Uganda.j
Gloria,
Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. You are right. Joy shared such an honest beautiful message. Thank you for joining us for this study!
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
I get having the promises of God. I try sinhardntonhold in to them daily. To repeat. To memorize. To live them out. To believe them. But I’m alone. It’s hard to believe them when I have to be the one to encourage myself and pick myself back up. I don’t have trustworthy people in my life. Not friends or family who I can be transparent with or talk to a all for that matter to remind me of these things or to encourage me. My loneliness isn’t even purposeful. I am not doing anything great for the kingdom.
Rebecca,
You aren’t alone. You have almost half a million of these wonderful women here at LGG who are united with you in the love of the Lord. The great thing that you are doing for the kingdom is participating in this bible study, which if you allow it, will transform you so that you become even more like Christ. You then become a living, breathing testimony to His love. Now that is something great! God does these great and amazing things through ordinary people like us even when we are not even aware of it. Remain connected to the women here in this LGG community, in your church, and in your local community. Serve those around you who are in need of kind words, encouragement, food, clothes, or shelter. Reflect Christ’s love, patience, compassion, and kindness to those immediately around you. You have purpose, and you are needed by God to love and serve His people. Always remember, despite how you feel, what you see, or what people may tell you…you are loved! We will be praying for you!
~Terria (LGG Encourager)
Thank you! what a blessing to have you all as such a support. Our group Ama a Dios in Spanish has been something that has kept me in the Word when all I wanted to do was just give up. Leading our small grout in Asturias Spain as well as here in the States now.
Dani, Thank you for serving faithfully even in the discouraging times. You are appreciated!
Blessings, Amy A, LGG Encourager
I have many pity parties. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am by far a new Christian but have not followed God as I should. Now, in my 60’s I have a great desire to know Him better. I want to fall deeply in love with Him and let Him control all of my life. Do you have any suggestions to how I can accomplish this. I feel so ignorant of the ways of the Lord. I don’t even know where to begin reading my Bible . In so many ways I’m still a baby Christian. My father, my uncles and my brother are or were all ministers of churches. I grew up in church. What is wrong with me? I guess maybe I’m having a pity party myself now. So much has happened in my life thus far and the most recent is losing my 30 yr. old son suddenly, my daughters (2) grown and married, ages 45 and 35 hurting me with their words and actions. I probably shouldn’t have even started writing this to you but I guess I just needed to be vocal right now. I love your web site and thank you so much for it.
Patricia,
I am so glad God led you to our website! I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your son and how you are hurting. Just saying that you want to fall in love with God is a great first step, and he will guide you every step of the way! Talk to him, you can tell him everything and ask him for guidance. Have you ever done one of the Love God Greatly studies? Right now we are reading through Psalm 119, I highly encourage you to read it! We have groups that discuss the readings, through Facebook, blogs, email, even in person. At the beginning of each study there is a blog with open groups listed for people to join, God gave me my group that way nearly 2 years ago and it is a huge blessing to me! The next study will be announced soon. I will be praying for you and asking God to reveal himself to you, and to let you know just how much He loves you!
Blessings,
Stacy, LGG Encourager
Thank you. Iv Been having these thoughts. And yes clinging to his promises of what he provides and gives because he knows our need. We Hurt and he is our comforter our all in all. Thankful for vulnerability and hearts open to receive from one another and god. Oh Lord that you fill and meet each need as we learn from your word. Thank you father for showing me my thoughts are not unlike others and Lord help me to take captive every thought and surrender It to you especially as I take step into mission may I not feel like I’m left out of things but I am so thankful to be included in all you have for me. To meet with you is truly precious lasting life giving. Above all things. Xx
Lynette, So glad that you have found community here. Your words brought comfort to me tonight.
Blessings, Amy A, LGG Encourager
I just love you, Joy! You are always so real! I’ve always had the struggle of putting godly women, as yourself, on a pedestal, thinking that they have perfect lives and that they, themselves, are perfect! I know those are lies straight from the enemy, but satan has used those lies so well against me to hold me back, making me believe that I will never achieve that perfection so why even try! My Abba has been so gentle and kind to teach me that ALL of His children fall short and I’m not alone in my struggles! So, when I read the honesty in your posts and the realness in your personal struggles, even though you are out there in the mission field serving the Lord in such a tremendous way, the fact that I can relate to you give me such encouragement, you don’t even know! Thank you for your realness and for what you are doing for the Lord! It’s good to always keep in mind that this here is all temporary and that when we are Home, we will have the rest of eternity to party and celebrate with our loved ones!!!
Mistie, Thank you for your honesty & your encouragement from the lessons you are learning. Continue to grow in grace!
Blessings, Amy A, LGG Encourager
Thank you for sharing this truth! I have a son in the military and when holidays or other big events come around, I often throw myself a little pity party, not so much a visible one, but one inside my heart. I needed this. I also sent this to my son so that when he’s getting homesick, he can be reminded of the truth of God’s Word also. Thank you!