THE CALL OF FORGIVENESS
Hi Ladies! I am so glad to be here with you for another week of our You Are Forgiven study. I hope that you are changing and growing during this pruning of our hearts, minds, and beliefs throughout this study. It is the beginning of Fall time there in the States, and rainy season here in Uganda. I can’t help but liken this process of embracing God’s forgiveness to the changing of the seasons. Change is hard – you see the leaves fall and wither – and yet in the Spring, new life will come! That’s what I’m praying for you and I in this study.
This week I share a hard story about myself. I share the ugliness of my heart and sinfulness of my pride, but also the beauty of grace and forgiveness shown by my precious dad. I hope that you can take some time to read my story because it is in sharing our stories of what Christ has done in each of our lives that we testify to each other and strengthen each other! It was hard to write. It was hard to read once it was in print. I don’t want to admit the sin that is bound up in my heart. But it is also a story of forgiveness, both for the people in my life as well as for myself.
Ephesians 4:32 says this:” Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.”
Because Christ forgave us, it gives us the unnatural ability to do the same for others. This is an invitation to walk in love, just as Christ loved you… which can be oh, so difficult!! But we can pray, like Corrie Ten Boom did (I shared her story in this chapter), “Jesus, help me!” Jesus came to save us so we can be truly free. And as He has forgiven us so much, it frees us when we are able to then turn around and forgive those in our lives.
This is difficult heart work, and I don’t say these things lightly.
I know there are some of you who have had unspeakable things done to you. I know there are those who have struggled for years to forgive those who have wronged them. I know there are those who are in physical pain over the inability to forgive. I am praying for you. God can give us the power and the strength to forgive just like He did Corrie Ten Boom, because we have been forgiven much.
Heavenly Father, thank You for forgiving my many sins. Thank You for teaching me that as You have forgiven me, so must I forgive others. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for convicting my heart when self-righteousness and pride reign supreme in my life, and for allowing me to see my need for a Saviour. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
With Love From Uganda,
Week 5 Challenge: This week, I want you to tell a story of forgiveness. It can be your own story, someone you know, or something you read {the Bible has some great examples!}. If you feel comfortable, share your story with us in the comments… testifying to one another about God’s great work is so encouraging! If not, tell someone in your life about it: you kids, your husband, your friends, anyone! Just speak a story of forgiveness this week!
Week 5 Video:
(Can’t see the video? Click here)
Week 5 Reading Plan:
Week 5 Memory Verse:
My senior colleagues at work are simply impossible. They seek at every point esp one of them to make life miserable. There was this particular day at work I cried three days in a row. I was tired of been torn down. I wanted peace.
But every time I want to pray the Holy Spirit brings to my conscious of what they have done and I forgive them and go on. I daily had to forgive them. This could not be a one time thing because they do not know Jesus, so my forgiveness to them has to be daily. And really that sounds like hard work but I think of I want to live in freedom I have to.
Many years ago there was this guy I dated and when we broke up I was filled with so much bitterness why He could not just love me purely with wanting to be intimate with me. Then one day God said this to me: He loved you just the way he knew how to. He is a sinner who does not know God, so to love me God’s way was impossible for him. So he loved me just the way he knew how to. That helped me forgive him and know people could never give what they do not have.
But I have love and forgiveness and I choose to give that.
God is calling me to forgiveness daily, to love daily…
Oh Ebos, forgiving daily is so hard. Remembering that others do not understand God’s love and are not aware of their sins . You are an obedient daughter of God in your willingness to start each day fresh with difficult people.
Am trying darling. I am. Some days I get it, others I don’t.
Oh, Ebos, forgiveness can be so difficult but brings us such great peace. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story, dear friend!
Velma homey. We thank God that we can be conduits of His forgiveness to all. We are indeed blessed.
The act of forgiveness of others came so easy for me…but the act of forgiving myself was so difficult! I was married at the age of 17 and pregnant. Not the place anyone who knew me or myself for that netter thought I would be.
I’m still married and it was and is a true work of constant forgiveness and love. I was raised in church but my husband was not! My dad was physically abusive but yet also loving? So this kinda shaped who and what was except able to me. He passed away when I was 12 and life changed. Than I met my husband and we fell in love ..mistakes being made God blessed me with a baby and my life forever changed! She was and is the best thing and my son that has been given to me. My marriage was so far from what God wanted for me! My husband began doing drugs and I found myself alone many nights and we fought like cats and dogs… Needless to say this led us both to dark places and we made some bad choices. I was always able to forgive him but not myself? Some 4 years into my marriage I committed adultery and for the next 20 + years( I allowed my husband, who did even know that I did this) treat me terrible. I had such doubt that I didn’t even love myself I convinced myself I deserved nothing better! Than came Gods plan…we both had been in and out of church and than we found Shore Fellowship a path God knew I needed! I was in church feeling convicted week after week on a series about forgiveness. Crying after each service and than that moment when I realized it was time to tell my husband…trust God would save us! I will tell you the power of God in my marriage not only has kept us together through some very dark times but his grace, love and forgiveness has recreated us in a live for God and each other. We are not prefect but we are prefect together loving and growing in gods forgiveness and love. The truth is that I had asked Pastor Tim Chzmbers how do Zi forgive myself? Because forgiving others was easy but not so easy to forgive myself! His reply was “You are already forgiven, Jesus did that on the cross for you!” Those words are forever embedded in my heart. Forgiveness was bore on the cross for ALL! I pray you all find your forgiveness in Jesus name Amen
Awwwww sweet Barbara, your story is a epic story of God’s love and forgiveness ,and the miracle He works in our lives. You went through hell love, but you came out strong with God and now your family is thriving in grace. Such an awesome story love. I too found it hard to forgive myself after so many mistakes but God used my friend to pull me through. God bless you love. Continue to grow in grace. Our God is with you and your family. Much love.
Barbara, as hard as it can be to forgive others it’s even more difficult to forgive ourselves. The guilt and blame are always so ready to return and replay in our minds. God’s grace is on us and we must accept and live knowing we are truly forgiven. I am so happy that your family is living in the light of God’s love and his blessings!
Barbara- I too was 17 and married and our son was 4 months old. I was not physically abused but I was mentally abused by my parents (mainly my mom as my dad worked long hours). See I was born with multiple birth defects that caused young , poor parents to have to travel 3.5 hours one way frequently to find the doctors and surgeons needed to give me a fighting chance. This however became a “sword” to stab me with whenever times became tough or it was time to travel and money was tight. My mom has since went to heaven ( 21 years ago) and I have forgiven her but have not forgotten.
My husband and I just celebrated 25 years of marriage- it hasn’t all been rosy yet we continue. He was raised in church yet has his own beliefs and thoughts and attending church together has always been difficult. We now belong to a small church along with my in laws and when I am not working as a nurse on a Sunday we do attend.
One thing I do know, God has always been by my side and will continue to be by my side! Many blessings Barbara!
My story is one of me forgiving my husband. He had betrayed my trust by lying and viewing pornography. He had done this and started going to counseling and a men’s group. I thought it was in the past and then several years later it reared its ugly head again. We separated and I believed him with my whole heart when he told me he was getting help and he was no longer viewing porn and lusting after other women in his life. He came home and I soon found out it was all a lie. We began counseling together and I had a decision to make. Was I going to truly forgive him and work on myself and what I could do to make the marriage better. I really wanted to hold on to my hurt and anger. But I chose to forgive even though it was hard. I did it because I love Jesus and wanted to please him. We went to counseling for months and months and each time I had to choose to do the right thing. Do what the counselor was encouraging. She was always encouraging love and forgiveness which was only possible through the help of the Holy Spirit. We are not a perfect couple but forgiven. My husband goes to a support group for recovering sex addicts every week. I have to consistently work on my codependency. If had not forgiven we would be divorced. I am so thankful to God for his forgiveness and the gift he gives us to forgive others.
Sweet Tricia I love what you said about doing the right thing because you love Jesus and wanted to please Him. Darling that speaks so deeply to my heart. Darling, God is working in all of us. We are not there yet but He isn’t done with us. We are better today than we were yesterday. That’s our hope. Dear Lord as You have started in her life please give her patience and help her through. To Your glory. Amen. Much love darling.
Ebos, thank you for your encouraging words and prayer. They mean so much!
Tricia, what you have done is not easy.. Making the choice to forgive others each day is exactly what Jesus wants us to do. I also believe that whenever possible he wants marriages to survive. I am happy for you and will pray that you continue on the path of forgiveness each and every day.
Hope, thank you for your prayers and encouraging words.
It’s nothing darling. We are here for each other. I love you darling.
Thank you for praying for me/ for us, I will be sharing a little bit of my application for tomorrow’s SOAP,…. for you have mentioned the difficult of forgiving, yes, it is difficult to forgive and I also know that it is easier said than done, especially those people that have wrong you and hurt you so deep, but I know that there is nothing impossible with God, He can heal the deepest wounds from our past, present and future, for he said, “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds” Psalm 147:3. I needed that ‘Prayer’ to help me overcome any unforgiveness in my heart and it is just a relief when someone says, they are praying for me/ for us. Thank you once again for your another beautiful blog post.
Oh, sweet Marilyn, thank you for your encouraging words and always sharing from your heart!
Marilyn, you speak with wisdom! It is not easy to forgive but it is amazing what God can do to change us from the inside out. Sometimes the other person knows nothing about our being hurt or forgiving them. God simply works in our lives to bring healing. Love you, Marilyn!
I had struggled with forgiving my mom. She left when i was 3 and i searched for her at the age of 18. I didn’t realize how hurt an angry i was until I actually came face to face with her. It has been over 20 years now and i have finally come to a place of forgiveness. Our relationship is not that of a typical mother & daughter but we do love one another and I choose to not dwell on the pain.
Awwwww dear Lisa, am so sorry that you had to go through that. But I praise God for the woman He has made you. He is everything to us. Praise God for His work of forgiveness in you. Lord Jesus, she is in Your hands. Please be more than enough to and for her. Much love darling.
Lisa, I cannot imagine the pain you must have lived with for years. I’m glad you are in contact with your mom now and have some kind of relationship. I hope that it is a growing one that is good for you!
I was finally able to forgive my Ex husband for all the adultery and verbal abuse I lived with for 22 years. All thru my marriage I prayed for God to show me what it was I was doing wrong and to save marriage. When my divorce happened. I felt God had abandoned me and that something was terribly wrong with me. Thru therapy and a lot of prayers on my behalf from my daughter and friends, I know now that this was God’s answer and he had been carrying me for a lot longer than he should have. I have forgiven my ex and can wish him well, knowing that without God’s intervention I would probably be dead now. I can give forgiveness without being asked to forgive. I am stronger today and with this Bible study I am able to forgive myself and know that I am forgiven by God. I am Loved by God.
Amen Robin Lender!! God gives us strength to do the impossible and then blesses us abundantly!! You are forgiven and loved beyond our wildest dreams!!
The act of forgiveness set me free and gave me peace. It took ten years, but on the anniversary of her death I said the words, “I forgive you” to my mother’s killer.
Melissa, I cannot imagine but know You are set free and can now live life as the Lord planned for you to do. What a most beautiful testimony of God’s love, grace and mercy. God bless you!!
I shared yesterday about many of the hurts in my life that God has given me the grace and strength to forgive. Today, I would like to highlight one of the significant ways that God and my husband have forgiven me…
We’d been married approximately 6-7 years when my disillusion with the naive happily-ever-after dream that I had had since falling in love with my husband “hit the fan”. I just didn’t feel like I could continue. I built a wall towards him around my heart and did everything but leave him. My eldest daughter was 3 years old at the time.
I’m not sure of all the reasons for my disillusionment, we were both Christians and sincerely vowed before God to honor and love each other ’till death do us part”. I think I was very naive and had a lot of growing up to do…I think, as many people have observed over the years, we’re strikingly opposite in many ways, and undeniably, we’re both very human, sinful people.
At this point in our marriage, I was experiencing a lot of pain and yet he didn’t understand much of what I was going through…he thought everything was fine from his perspective, but he knew and could feel that I had left him in every way except physically move out.
I went to counseling with him because I knew it “was the right thing to do.” My heart was closed to letting the counseling help us and I was miserable. I grew up in a family that ended in divorce and knew I didn’t want that, but did not feel like I could continue in my own marriage. As a Christian, I believed in the strength of my wedding vows, and yet, did not know how I could keep them.
But God was giving me the experience and opportunity to come to the end of myself and yet still held me close to His heart. I had to get away one weekend in the midst of all of this overwhelming pain and confusion and thankfully chose {actually, I think I was led} to go on a two night retreat at a Catholic retreat center up in the mountains near where we lived at that time.
In the bookstore at this retreat center I found a book about what true love is by John Powell, “Unconditional Love”. Over the weekend of reading this book, prayer, crying out to God as I walked mountain trails, God broke my self sufficient pride and naive view of love and marriage and gave me a reassurance that He would be with me, showing me how to love my husband one day at a time.
Within the next few weeks, I bought a sacramental chalice and some bread and came to my husband to ask his forgiveness as we took communion together. To this day, this chalice sits in a prominent place in our living room as a reminder of what God did in my heart and how He healed our relationship.
Our two youngest daughters are a beautiful testament of God’s continuing work in our lives and my husband’s forgiveness as we look forward to celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary in a few months.
May God continue to have His way in our hearts and life together so that we may glorify Him <3
Kathy, what a beautiful story of how God waited for You and gave You His best for you. I know we have to reach certain points before we will hear Him and I am praising God You heard His call and followed the voice of your Good Shepherd!! <3
My story of forgiveness is ongoing, it is one of three people-myself, my ex-husband, and his current wife. I seem to need to continually forgive myself for really having no idea how to be married in the first place and for giving up on my first marriage therefore my sons have to endure the never ending unrest effects of divorce-week on week off custody and the turmoil of step parents. Yes, my first husband committed adultery several times such to the point he introduced me to his mistress and wanted our families to become friends-she was the athletic director at the time and literally put her boys and my boys on same soccer/tee ball teams so we could all see each other, I knew what was going on but was at a complete loss as to what to do about it, we even became friends and vacationed together-then her husband and I developed feelings for each other knowing what our spouses were doing, basically it became a web of sin and deep betrayal-I was so hurt and full of vengence. The end result was a bitter divorce, my husband had multiple affairs with married women following that-my boys were aware and his current wife has verbally abused them for years as I just found out when I personally recently suffered her wrath. So the forgiveness is again for myself for giving up and then for putting my sons in the position that they had to endure so much and for my ex along with his wife who refuse to get counseling. My current husband now is a pastor and God has done amazing things with my heart but its definitely as work in progress, through that horrible divorce my sons came to accept Christ. A true testament that God works for all things good. I did not deserve His love but it was already there waiting for me, I did not deserve His forgiveness but it was there without obligation-how much more than am I called to forgive others if God can forgive me? Thank God for this path that leads to the release of bitterness and healing against all odds.
Forgiveness: In every way a child could be hurt or abused I was. When my roommate in college first told me that God loved me so much that he sent His son to die on the cross for me and the forgiveness of my sins. I was very confused. To me God was just another bad parent who didn’t care about His kid. He was willing to let him get hung on across for something he didn’t do. That was the reality of my world.
I can’t tell you how many times I took a beating so my younger siblings didn’t have to endure that. Then I met Mr. Reid he talked to me about Jesus and how much he loved me and was willing to sacrifice his life for mine. This I could understand because I was willing to do anything to save my brothers and sisters. That he wanted me to belong to him and be a part of his family meant the world to me. Here was somebody who understood my pain and my heart.
As a child my siblings and I were taking away from our parents because they were taking to jail or tried to commit suicide several times but we were given back each time. At the age of about 5, I was given to my father’s mother to raise. My father and mother could not handle raising kids. They were alcoholics and drug addicts. Life with grandma was no walk in the park it had it’s pitfalls as well. This is where most of the abuse took place.
My step dad came into my life when I was about 10. His influence in my mothers life helped her to stabilize life. She no longer was using drugs or alcohol and got some help and I don’t remember anymore suicide attempts. We had to go to her house on weekends.
Fast Forward: As an adult my mother who was always a part of my life asked if she could be my mother again. I told her no that it was to late that I didn’t need a mother anymore but that my daughter needed a grandmother and if she was willing I would like for us to try and be friends. Looking back I am sure I hurt her unintentionally, but she took my offer. I taught her how to be a grandmother and how to love my children. We became very close even though I only had her for a few short years after that. I have no regrets about forgiving my mother and having her in my daughters life. She ended up being a loving, kind and fun grandmother.
My small families unconditional love for her and my step dad gave her much happiness. I did not know she would pass away but I was able to witness to my mother about 10 days before she passed away. We have hope that she will see us someday in eternity.
My father gave his life to Christ back in 1987. We were raised more like brothers and sisters than parent and child. Even though he gave his life to Christ and completely gave up drugs and alcohol he had a lot of baggage. This past summer I went and spent 32 days caring for my dad. 2 days after I left he passed away. I am so grateful for the time we had together.
Forgiving my parents and loving them was only by God’s grace. My siblings are not Christians so they have been devastated by the loss of our parents. They could not forgive them. The most important lesson I have learned about forgiveness is that it is for my benefit. God knows that we can not hold onto that or it will destroy us.
How do you forgive someone who slept with your husband? How do you moved pass the hurt and anger. When that person continues telling people she is going to marry my husband. We moved hundred of miles away. She still want stop.