My hands were empty, and my heart was broken.
I sat at home on the 3-day leave from work after my miscarriage and blindly stared at the blinking computer screen in front of me. I’d tried reading my Bible, but was unable to focus past a verse or two. I wanted to hear from God, but my pain wailed doubt and despair.
I never heard His voice audibly that day, but looking back now seven years later, I know how He spoke clearly. He used Kelli.
Kelli was a former student who knew I was hurting. She decided to be brave and share her story with me. She sent me a short e-mail where she confessed that she and her hubby had struggled with infertility for several years. She’d started a blog to chronicle her story in hopes of encouraging women who were on the same journey.
“I don’t share this with many people,” she confessed. But, she invited me into her pain so that I would know that I was not alone.
I spent the next day voraciously reading. I’d never visited a blog before. From Kelli’s blog, I found many other spaces on the internet where women were welcoming me into their lives and letting me know that God was still at work. God was present. God was transforming brokenness into beauty. His glorious light was spilling out of their lives all over the internet.
Months later, I decided to start a blog. Perhaps I could encourage one person with my story. I also accepted an invitation from a friend to join her in online Bible study. She said we’d just be looking at a few verses a day.
I can do a few verses a day, I thought. I grabbed a notebook, and I wrote four letters across the top of the page that changed my life forever…
S.O.A.P.
I started writing out the Word of life, looking for hope in its depths and truly thinking about how living it out could impact my life. I prayed simple prayers. I cried out to God for hope and healing.
My hands were surrendered, and my heart was open.
It’s been 7 years since I decided to step into the Light and allow God to have His way in me. I’ve learned that God writes the best stories, but first we must hand Him the pen.
In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul is sharing his story with us in hopes of encouraging the weary hearted. He knows in this fallen world that we will experience:
- External Chaos: We are afflicted in every way. The pressures of life are overwhelming.
- Internal Confusion: We are perplexed. Sometimes circumstances just do not seem to make sense.
- Undeserved Criticism: We are persecuted. We often face rejection, misunderstanding, and abuse.
- Unexpected Catastrophe: We are struck down. This wicked world wounds us, and it’s hard to keep walking.
Paul wants us to know that brokenness is not the end of our story. My sister, God is not through with you yet. If you invite Him into your pain, He will step in and give you:
- Help: Your Protector will never allow this world to crush you.
- Hope: He will give you peace that surpasses understanding.
- Healing: He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will restore you.
- Heaven: This fallen world is just a temporary camp. He is preparing a permanent home for you with no more pain or sorrow.
God wants to strengthen you, shine His glory through you, and transform your mess into a ministry of encouragement to others. Just as He radiated through Kelli, He longs to use you as a light in a dark place.
With hands extended and hearts full, we will brightly display God’s redemption to the watching world.
Keeping the Faith,
Lyli
Lyli Dunbar enjoys karaoke in the car with her husband, digging into Bible study with the girls, and reading 12 books at a time. A writer, speaker, and mentor, her burning passion is to know Jesus and to make Him known. Join her at lylidunbar.com to find fuel for a wildfire faith. You may also connect with Lyli on Facebook, Instagram,Twitter, You Tube and Pinterest.
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We’re in Week 3 of our Broken & Redeemed study! Grab your favorite beverage, crack open your Bible, and together let’s rejoice with the broken and redeemed of God.
You can grab a copy of our Broken & Redeemed journal on Amazon here or download it at this location.
We also have a corresponding kid’s Broken & Redeemed journal geared for children in elementary grades. You can grab a copy on Amazon at this location.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have also experienced miscarriage and although I do not have a biological child here on earth, I have two beautiful daughters adopted through foster care. Your story is an encouragement
Dawn,
Thanks for sharing a bit about how God redeemed your story with us today. Our home church here in Florida is very involved in Foster care, and we have several friends who have adopted through that ministry after fostering. Such a beautiful picture of how God scoops us up and adopts us into His family!!!!
Blessings to you and your littles, brave mama.
Lyli
I have moved enough to share a story that took place in my daughter Taylors life in 2008. She was 23 years old, living in Canada with her boyfriend when she became sick, and called home, here in Michigan. Taylor said she hadn’t been feeling good, her stomach, lack of energy, and just ran down. She asked if she could come home for a while. I said of course!
When Taylor arrived home, it was obvious to me she was pregnant, upset, didn’t want to tell us because they weren’t married yet. They couldn’t afford healthcare, and had very little money. We made an appointment with the doctor and went in the following day. He confirmed she was five months pregnant. We got excited together, began to talk about the future and her new little family.
That evening, she began having severe pains in her stomach. We went to the ER, they did an ultrasound and said she’d be having twins. The doctor came back in a few minutes later and said both babies (boys), had died and that we would have to find another facility to abort or distinguish of. My daughter began screaming, screeching, flailing, “NO, NO, NO, NO, oh my God mommy why, mommy, mommy..no!” I’m crying as I’m typing this, I WILL never forget that as long as I live. I told that doctor he had no business being a doctor, walked passed him and called my doctor right away. My doctor sent an ambulance over to us and transported us to a different hospital. They began pumping my daughter with pain medication to help with the pain, but more to calm her down.
A doctor came in and examined her. He said she would have to give full vaginal birth, and they would be giving her medication to help induce the labor. I sat on the side of her bed just holding her as we cried. My husband joined us shortly after, tears coming down his face, my sister followed and we all camped out waiting.
How God works – I’m a woman who has survived many things. My work has led me to working with other women who have gone through similar. I had a woman living with me at the time, she had no place to go, her family all but turned their backs on her in her time of desperation. Her children would not talk to her, and faulted her for the pending divorce between her mom and dad.
Taylor had an incredible nurse, who was about the same age. She talked to her supervisor and stayed on working a double just to be with our daughter. It was God’s angel. She and Taylor talked through the night as me, her dad and my sister all fell asleep. In these conversations, the nurse told my daughter about how lucky she was to have such wonderful and loving parents. Taylor told her that we were divorced. The nurse couldn’t believe it, and my daughter went on to talk about how much better it was for our family, how much her mom changed and grew in her faith. The nurse was very moved by my daughter’s testimony.
Taylor went on to have our grandson’s Isiah and Joshua that morning at 3 am. It was the most painful memory of my entire life, still to this day. They took the boys away one hour later, never to be seen again on this earth. Since then, my daughter moved back to Michigan and married her college sweetheart. She has moved on, but will never forget her sons, who are now in heaven.
I went home from the hospital that day exhausted. The lady I had staying at my house walked out to me and asked where I had been all night? I told her the story, and she looked up at me and said, “Oh my goodness Tammy. I got a call this morning from my daughter Christy who told me she worked all night at the hospital and pulled a double to be with a young woman who was going to give birth to stillborn twins.”
The nurse was the woman’s daughter living at my house. The same nurse, who held my daughters hand through the night, was the daughter of the woman whose hand I’d been holding for months.
The story, God puts angels all around us… it is up to us to seek the spiritual awareness!
Wow, just wow…Tammy, my eyes are full of tears as I am reading your story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. I’m so sorry for the loss that you, your daughter, your family experienced that night. My how God took such a major moment of sadness in your lives and turned it around to make it a major moment of redemption in someone else’s. I can see God working all things for good in your story. How marvelous, yet mysterious, our God is!
Oh Tammy, I am in tears. I do believe that nurses are angels. It’s amazing to me how God loves is so much that He orchestrates details to remind us that He loves us — even in the darkest of days, His light still shines & reminds us that He is with us.
It comforts me that Baby Dunbar is in heaven, & the first face He ever saw was God’s. He never had to experience the pain & loss of this broken world. & one glorious day soon, those babies are going to give us the grand tour when we are reunited in heaven.
Much love to you, friend.
Oh Tammy, wow. Just wow. I don’t even know what to say.
As i am writing this, I can’t stop tears from running down my face. I am sorry for the loss you and your family experienced but yet again not so much because God used it to bring redemption to someone else who needed it.
Such as a powerful story. What a blessing! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Lyli and Tammy. Powerful stories! What blessing!
Difficult test—->amazing “test”imony! Thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement!
Oh, Lyli, how God’s love shines through you. Thank you for your open heart, willing to share your walk with Him. You are a blessing.
Love you, sweet friend! It’s been such a blessing to study with you. Hugs
I just wanted to thank all of you ladies for sharing your stories. Tears are pouring down my face right now over your losses and at God’s wonderful plan orchestrated through each of you. Praying for each of you and your families, God Bless You!
I just wanted to thank all of you ladies for sharing your stories. Tears are pouring down my face right now over your losses and at God’s wonderful plan orchestrated through each of you. Praying for each of you and your families, God Bless You!
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